В колонках играет - LP- No More Sorrow
Настроение сейчас - Happy cause it's supposed to be that way...

21.05.2007
It’s so easy sometimes to throw away all the duties and relations and to f*ck it all up!!!!!
And even if something prevents you from doing that, that’s only the rest of your sound (or may be not really sound……) mind which tells you to keep on living the same routine, play the rules that are familiar to the bones and that drives you mad……….
So why are you trying to keep me in this old and rotten world???!!!
Why can’t you just give me an opportunity to live my own life, to bring some changes, to make it colorful, to let me feel myself free……..
***********
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARLING))))))
Hope everything will work out right in your life)))))
Love you))) Wish you only the best things & hope, you’ll never repeat the same mistake twice….
Cause been aware of that will give you almost a second life, another chance in life to do everything right that time…..

В колонках играет - Linkin Park - Given Up
Настроение сейчас - Don't wanna talk about it

18.05.2007
The reason I wanted to get closer probably was the thing that I felt lonely and unhappy….
It’s a usual statement for a human to wish (for) someone who will cater for you, who will say that he cares if you are desperately trying to run away from everything and hide in any corner where no one will be able to find you; who will do anything or at least will try his best to make you smile…….
But it’s so hard to be genuine, even with yourself and say that you’ve fallen for someone. And any attempts in denying obvious things are leading to a failure….. And you start to understand that it’s not like the way it was earlier, it drives you mad, it doesn’t want to get out of your head….
********
I wanted to post you a letter, but I’ve forgotten your address……
Frankly speaking, I even didn’t ever know your address……
And if I did, I don’t think it could change anything…..
Though if I could change myself a little bit… THAT could help, though I’m not sure for 100%....

AFTERWORDS..........

В колонках играет - Running Away
Настроение сейчас - Hard to define

11.05.2007
If these are only dreams
So let me lock myself
Inside of this imaginary
World and never come back
I WANNA BE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!
*******************************
I know that there still are a lot of things I don’t know but I’m gonna try my best to overcome my laziness…..
But It won’t make sense without you…….
(Maybe I went insane……Than slay me instead of punishing that way!!!!!! I don’t wanna suffer!!!!! I’m just not able to…..anymore……)

В колонках играет - Soundtrack to Wolf"s Rain
Настроение сейчас - ****))))

Why do things not always work out the way I want them to be....
It seems I don't ask too much just a liitle bit happiness and something that will make me feel better than ever...
Guess it's not too much....THAN WHY CAN'T I GET IT????!!!!
***********
"Come on, get up, it's time to leave...."
"But it's only 6 a. m., are you nuts??!!! I'm not going to get up only if you ask me to..."

В колонках играет - Iron Maiden- Running Free
Настроение сейчас - Sleepy....but happy.....))))

I was always told not to leave the things up to the last moment.... I wish I could listen to that phrase more often.....
*******
You were always taught to be on the top. And it doesn't matter whether it is University or even your own life (even when you are home.....)
But how can't they see that to be the best doesn't mean to be happy???!!!!!!
You've tried to put it into their ears, but they didn't even listen to you....
That's why you behave yourself like a jerk sometimes and don't even think that your phrase or deed could hurt anyone.... not that time...
But noone will say a word for you if something happens... everyone will just turn their backs to you...Don't try to deny you do and say so much things a day that it can't even be recognised by you, I mean, what was said right and what you'd better never tell anyone....
that's you problen for now....though you don't even consider THAT can be a problem, saying that everyone has its pros. and cons., but don't forget that each deed has its result, so you'll have to pay anyway....the question is What price???.....it is obvious that it will cost much more than you suppose.... and that starts worrying me.... Don't even ask Why, I won't tell you anyway.. if I'll have to, I'll lie...cause it's too hard to say...though the answer is so simple.... I HATE WHEN SUCH THINGS ARE HAPPENING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!

В колонках играет - Scorpions - When The Smoke Is Going Down
Настроение сейчас - Dreamy.........

I hope I'll find a place where I belong someday.........
******
"The water is still cold so you'll have to wait some more time.."
"But I'm sick and tired of waiting!!.."
"You're still too short tempered and hopeless)))))" *smiles*
"Was there something funny in the thing I said????!!!"
"Yep, seems to me, I'll have to get used to your way of reacting on every phrase and thing..."
"I don't care if you won't!!"
(" Your way of behaviour is so childish, it sometimes has me in stiches, though I still can't understand what I've found in you and moreover I don't get :why don't you see your good sides and good things you do??.....") *thinks*
"You didn't listen to me again!!! Why are you smiling??!!!"
")))I was just thinking))))"
"Really?? I'm surprised you are able to)))) and what was the deal...or better say the reason of your sudden thinking???.."
"I just wanted to tell you that..."
"What??? I'm listening attentivrly))))!!"
"EEh...I just wanted to say...that....Sky is really pretty today, isn't it????"
"??? And THAT WAS ALL YOU WANTED TO TELL ME????!!! YOU IDIOT!!!! and I thought there was something important, splendid, brilliant,even if it could make me laught....."
("you'll know everything when time comes....but I don't tink you'll feel any relief...though you are still able to change everything...))))")
"You didn't listen to me again!!!!!"
"Who? Me? I was just wondering when we'll have something to eat??))))"
"It's unbelievable!!!! You are always doing things like that!!!! Next time I won't even talk to you...no!! I won't even look at you when you'll be greeting me!!!!!"
("You are still such a child))))))).... I wonder if you ever change.....")
"Why are you smiling all the time????????????!!!!!!!!!!! That pisses me off!!!"
"Songe-Creux)))) But that doesn't change the state of anyting anyway)))) Let's go and have something to eat I'm terribly hungry....besides...it's your turn to make dinner)))))"
"The only thing I hate in this world is YOU!!!!.... And I won't cook anything!!!! I object!!!!."
"I hear that phrase from day to day))) aren't you tired of saying that????"
"I'll stop when You'll cut off saying something like *Songe-Creux* and so on...."
"As soon as you'll stop behaving that way..)))"
"What way????!!!!!!!!!!! I've got absolutely normal way of behaviour!!! The thing that you saved my life doesn't mean that you can do anything you wish and say eveyting you want to!!!!!!!!!!"
"But you still owe me....)))))))))))))))))))))))"
"I HATE THAT SMILE...........!!!!!!!! Stop looking at me that way!!!!!!............ ok, I'll do the dinner........."
"That's better)))))))))) don't forget about the desert)))))"
"Whaaaaaaaaaa......?????!!!"
"You cakes are delicious)))))) I love this part of dinner most of all))))))"
*hardly holding herself* "When the time comes, I'll do everything I want to do with you...Bakara!!!!"
"But till that time I wanna try your desert one more time)))))))))))"
("The first thing I'll do will be erasing that stupid smile from your face!!!!!!") *Hardly visible evil and half desperate look on the face*
"Smells nice....))) )but guess something's missing.... "
"Shut up!!!"
"I'm just kidding)))))))........."

Save water, shower with a friend)))))

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to a trip.(Caskie Stinnett)

It's really a good day today)))))))) Though there still are things that can make me much happier and help to create the song that would be just perfect....

В колонках играет - Scorpions- when thesmoke is going down
Настроение сейчас - ))))) I've come back!!!!!!!!!!!

dunno if I'll manage to make a song of it))))
But still if I'll have enough time and will I'll copy with it))))
***********
As the moon shows you its light
You start the riding in the night
As wind blows you in the face
I know riding is your ace
Burning heart and pure soul
The things you seek for on the whole
Even if they don’t exist
You will believe it till you breathe
While all the people aim for fame
You just live life with no restrain
And in this world so cold and bored
There is a place that touches a chord
There someone is still full of beans
Some there are leeches but NO THINGS
They don’t want just to stand in line
And wait that world will become fine
This place you have looked for so long
And here you may someone to hone
But they’re able to obey
For others they are main prey
Though they seem strong and powerful
It’s still the Land-of-making-fool
And if you don’t find them first
Their lives’ll become as others lost
The strong desire to improve
Will help them make another move
But better keep them far from rage
They’ll know it later then, with age
Not all of them have pure soul
Each will play from now on his role
And in the end you’ll see the truth
That has been always your abuse
Though now you have to find the one
Who how you think will bring undone
All of the things that rot with age
And free this World from evil’s cage.

Nothing in this world seems to be done in vain,
though you still have a feeling of regret, that something remained unfinished....
*******
"The reason that you can't write right now is only in you" I remember these words...seems so what if you remember such phrases( besides if they were said in a dream).But still I don't wanna,I loathe,abhor,hate,detest when something like that takes place in my life(even if this place is very little and irreal...)though I know that even horrible dreams become true....(if you will believe it blindely....)S I'd rather forget about it as soon as possible......

"If you die in an elevator be sure to press the up button"
Someone said that it was something like my life position...though I still don't understand why he decided so.....

В колонках играет - Iron Maiden - Childhood's End
Настроение сейчас - )))))

Every time when you wanna become someone else (even if you know that it won't last long)something's always happening, the thing that will make you regret for the thing you was gonna do((((((((I hate my conscience for that....(((
Soon I'll create new lyrics, I haven't decided whether it'll be in Engish or at last(as my friends say)in Russian. The main problem is if I'll lose the source of inspiration,the lyrics won't appear for a quite long period of time,unfortunately.........
We'll see it in a few days)))))))

В колонках играет - Iron Maiden
Настроение сейчас - Awesome)))))

TRIBUTE TO IRON MAIDEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a LOT OF EMOTIONS))))
I LOVE IT))))

В колонках играет - I fought the law......the law WON!!!!!!!
Настроение сейчас - Have food for thought.....

It is always said that this world is full of colours, but there really are times when you you see everything only in black & white (black is even seen more...) and when someone is trying to tell you that everything is fine and that life is an amazing thing you can only lose yourself in the world of riddles and mysteries whether this person is in his mind on there's really something wrong with you if you didn't feel all right for so long.....

В колонках играет - Silence))))
Настроение сейчас - Good)))

Seems that things are going to improve...though there always will be things which may not work out right, but still it's all only in your head))))

В колонках играет - Godsmack-Speak
Настроение сейчас - HAPPY)))

I'm going to the "Tribute to Iron Maiden" ))))
KAWAINA)))))))))))))))))))))
But I'll be much more happy when my debt on the internet will disappar, that's the only thing that is worrying me and pissing me off at the same time....
Hope everything will work out my way (as usual....)

В колонках играет - Lacuna Coil-The Prophet Said
Настроение сейчас - Confused......

Sometimes you can suddenly reveal the strangest sides of the people you seemed to know for a quite a lond time....
I guess I won't ever be able to understand how it really feels "to wish someone be your own privacy..... "
may be I don't understand something in this life.....
But the only thing I know is that I haven't revealed my dark or bad sides yet....)))))

В колонках играет - silence
Настроение сейчас - Sleepy but happy deep inside

The half of the day has already passed and you haven't done anything....
Sleepy but happy deep inside you are trying to overcome all the difficulties which your University and your own mind decided to give you for today....
Well...the result will be seen in the evening))))))

В колонках играет - something special))))
Настроение сейчас - not bad, though a bit spoilt((((

the thing when you tru\y to negotiate with other people doesn't work out right sometimes or even most of the times...too bad you have to get along with it somehow((((
but some peole don't understand when it's time to stop........