/// I am in the outside now, because I've got many people to tell me what to do, but I haven't a single person to say that it will be OK and give me a hug. Very simple. Impossible.

I LIED TO MY BOY that I can't write to him at the moment because I don't want to worry him. He's so positive and nice - I don't feel like worrying him. Besides, if he gets to know, he'll tell me I have to be good, and I have to through this silly things out of my head.

But, strange enough, shit happens, and sometimes in your thoughts. Something turns and then you are opposed to EVERYBODY including yourself. You can't be peaceful though the only thing you want -is PEACE. You can't smile - though the only thing you need is a silent SMILE from somebody you know..or don't know.

It's a very cold city. It is dirty. It makes my body sick and unhealthy. I feel like I will suffocate. And... I'm also lost for words.

I've got many people to tell me what to do, but I haven't a single person to just HUG ME, KISS ME ON THE CHEEK AND SAY: "It'll be fine. It's all going to be goodie-good".Very simple. Impossible.///