I head for the library – closed, followed by the gym – cancelled. So I’ll have to settle for a forty-five-minute walk around the exercise yard. I devour a plate of Princes ham surrounded by prison beans while I watch England avoid the follow on.
After supper sydney brothel convenes a board meeting. Item No. 1, he confirms that the suitcase and contents have been delivered to his friend in north London. The emerald has arrived in London, with all the correct paperwork completed. A colleague of his brother’s will be flying into London on Saturday, bringing with him the gold necklace, a catalogue raisonne of Botero and four photos of Botero oils that are for sale. Most of the Muslim world are swearing allegiance to America, as they must all be fearful of retaliation.

See clause 5.4 for controls relating to the number of bedrooms for bed and breakfast accommodation. The term may include places that are declared under section 84 of the National Parks and Wildlife Act 1974 to be Aboriginal places for the purposes of that Act. Nothing in this clause affects any requirement under an Act relating to land specified in this clause to obtain a licence or other authority under that Act for development of the land.
Some of the prisoners tying on the grass against the fence wish Jimmy, our captain, good luck, while another suggests that he couldn’t score in a brothel. Once Locke has inspected my cell, he announces it will first need an undercoat of white, which will take him two, two-hour sessions. Tomorrow he will add a coat of cream, and on Monday the cell door, the window ledge and frame plus the square around the wash basin will be painted beige. As far as I can work out, the painter will receive one pound’s worth of Golden Virginia a day. To my delight, I discover that our spur is unlocked first and banged up last, giving us an extra few minutes at each end of the day.
When we’re called back in, I’m not unhappy to return to the peace and safety of my cell. The Home Office could do worse than invite Darren to sit on one of their committees and advise them on prison policy. He is, after all, far better informed than Stephen Harrison, and therefore the Home Secretary. After a spell in Borstal, and two terms in prison, Darren would be a considerable asset to the drugs debate.

Home Office officials obviously don’t listen to the Today programme, or read any newspapers. It doesn’t augur well for justice being done to those prisoners who do not have a supportive family. Mary will write to Martin Narey today and put the record straight. My solicitor has not yet received a reply from DCS Perry. She’s also written to the governor of Wayland – also no reply.
He knew the barman well and told him that given half a chance he’d kill the bastard (meaning his girlfriend’s husband). Steve thought nothing more of it until he received a phone call from the barman saying that for the right price it could be arranged. The phone call was being taped by the police, as were several others that followed.

When I return to the wing, Sergio asks me if I would like to join him in his cell on the enhanced spur. He’s kindly translated the letter from the Spanish student; it seems that the young man has just finished a bachelor’s degree and needs a loan if he’s to consider going on to do a doctorate. I thank Sergio, and pen a note on the bottom of the letter, so that Alison can reply.
I end with ten minutes of stretching and a gentle warm down. Most of the prisoners walk into the gym and go straight on to the heavy weights without bothering to warm up. Later they wonder why they pull muscles and are then out of action for the next couple of weeks.
Governor Carlton-Boyce calls for me to confirm that my D-cat is going through the system. He asks if I have any preference as to which prison I would like to be moved to. It becomes clear he hasn’t read Tony Morton-Hooper’s letter. I explain that as my main residence is in London, any D-cat in that area would be fine, because then my family will find it easier to visit.

So when I return to the spur, I brief Nigel , known as Preacher , who is the block’s race relations representative. He tells me that he’ll speak to Mr King and try to straighten things out. Complete programme in one hour, steady or slight improvement almost every day. Jules has already been enhanced, which affords him several privileges, including wearing his own clothes.
Don’t forget, I no longer have an endless source of cards. Most of you reading this will have already formed a picture of him in your mind, as I would have done only a couple of months ago. A young black thug who’s better off locked up, and who will probably beat up some other innocent person the moment he’s released and be back in prison within a year. I eat my cereal out of a china bowl, my toast on a plate and drink my milk from a mug.

I am very anxious when William screens one of the documentaries he’s been working on, or James is running the 800 metres, and especially whenever Mary has to give a talk that lay people might expect to understand. She’s first on after the news and handles all of John Humphrys’ questions in that quiet academic way that could only impress an intelligent listener. But I can tell, even after her first reply, just how nervous she is. Once Mary has dealt with the Kurds and Baroness Nicholson, Humphrys moves on to the subject of how I’m getting on in jail.
The truth is that our main striker is in for breaking and entering but by the time Jimmy has reached the pitch, the Methwold team is convinced that if Hannibal Lecter were at Wayland he would be relegated to the subs bench. I finish the Robert Goddard book and then climb into my bed which is still in the middle of the room. I fall asleep to the smell of fresh paint and the sound of my fellow inmates reliving every one of those five England goals. I flick over to Jane Austen and discover that the handsome Captain Wentworth could be about to marry the wrong girl, but then – an explosion – can it be true? I return to BBC 1 to find Heskey has scored for England and we now lead five goals to one with ten minutes to go. Quickly back to Persuasion where our hero and long-suffering heroine have become engaged.