Hey there! Well, it's almost Valentine's Day, and like every other year, I don't have a Valentine. Oh well. You know, I guess I don't need a guy right now..It kind of makes me sad that I don't have anybody to love...but I don't need a guy right now. I have a lot to think about still. My future career. I need to get that in gear. I would probably be just happy if I had a baby around. But I don't need a guy for that either...I could always adopt..But really, that's probably just something else in me talking. I would rather have my own children...

My ex and I are over, for sure. I thought there for a tiny while that it could still work, but he is kind of messed up. He has feelings for his ex, and his best friend.....He needs to decide..I'll be his friend, but even that might be too hard to do. He said that he's in his own little world when he's with his ex...So I might be cut off anyways. It makes me sad kinda..But like before, I'm probably better off without him. Being single isn't that bad anyways. I would know, I've really just been single my whole life.


I can't believe how crummy I feel. I miss so much of my old life. I feel all confused, and doubtful about my future. Will I be able to go on? This is because of my mom's death. Every time something goes my way, something terrible happens. I start getting on track with my career- my mom dies...I meet a guy I thought I fell in love with..what happens? He dumps me, breaking my heart, making me wish I had never even met him before...Ughhhhhhh! It makes me upset, this past year has. I hate it.

And guess what else? I still want to go to New Mexico! I've never been there in the winter. I wonder what it's like there at that time of the year. I am so overdue for a visit there. I know it will kind of remind me of my mom, but it will remind me of the good times.
Sorry, but my thought about life right now is: Damn everything that makes people happy..It don't make me feel any better!

http://firebug86.livejournal.com/1110.html