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yesterday was the first day of winter, but it certainly does not feel like winter

..................and andrew sends me articles from business week about ua president.................................

.................................married man calls me at 8:00 am and offeres to pay for my cab so we can study together for finance at his place...............................
eh

basically i am studying my ASS OFF
and i am in love w/ new tatu song "its all about us"
love it

so today was my last performance in the theater class........
i am glad its over..........
i know i didn't do well........but what the hell...........
maybe it was a mistake to write in my journal "now i know acting is not for me" to the prof.....but .....oh well........i did.........
by the way that card from michele.........garbage........thank u......
but no thanks...really...i don't need ur wishes........ur lies......i know u don't like me....

yesterday night , like around 12 daniel text message me......haha , he asked me to go out and have some food, but when i asked him "r u asking me out or.....?" he said.... he is NOT date type of a guy...............haha...right.........first he is not a date type of a guy, than he is not boyfriend material......than he will never ask you to marry him ........and than...........u are alone...........anyway......ha! i am not looking for anything serious either.........so i guess we aren't such a bad match........
i said yes..........but only after the finals......will see if he still will be around......
maybe it was a good thing that i emailed him first........
i guess cards do sometimes tell truth!

and olga said dennis asked us to go to his birthday party
should i go or should i not?
he never asked me.....i guess he is shy around me...i know he likes me.....
but than i will have to see ALL his friends, get his a pressent.....
and i don't know him that well yet......
so should i go or should i not?
will see , i stil have time to think........right?
i will check my cards.........will see what will they say.............

"and how can anyone get upset about fat guy who gives out free stuff " - santa
and what did i get from my dearest helplines on chistmass ?
i got Ferrore Rocher Candy Box
thanks u suckers
i love u too, NOT

simon said today : " you are one rich spoiled white girl, aren't you?"
i say no..............
or maybe i am spoiled...............
hell knows..........
i make my decisions fast and i like that.........
like for example , yesterday , i was scanning online stores and decided to get myself a gift for Christmass.........i ordered a new Ipod Nano........well, yes i do know that this SHIT is mad expensive.........but c'mon......its for Christmass..........and i still have my few checks uncashed.........oh, dah........my favorite reason...."but i have my checks , so it's ok , i'll buy now on visa and pay later.........." and when later comes......oh dear mama, i am broke again..........
anyway........
i was scanning my college profile today and decide to write something to andrew......
i checked his profile.........and...........................................oh mama...............he went to a karaoke night last week..........w/ out me...........ok, ok,......i know we are only friends....but at least he could have asked me..........any way, i would say no........but this whole idea that on last friday....i had to go through HELL in my theater class , getting embarrased infront of the class, than go to work....than go home and HE HAD FUN?????????????????????
it just made me sick...............
i am sick of you..............
i know i am stupid and have NO reason to be sick..........but i am sorry this is how i feel.....
thats it..........NOW ITS OVER..........AND GUESS WHAT , I WILL NOT CALL YOU AFTER THE FINALS.........NO WAY IN HELL
anyway, daniel asked me out to some vegetarian restaurant , i haven't yet say yes, but i did not say no...........
and i am back in the game w/ that online uk dude.........yes......he pm's me.......haha
ANYWAY, I am beautiful and don't need any of you .............

p.s. i bought myself today 2 new pairs of jeans......they are so cute and girly , one is a dark pair w/ golden butterflies on my pockets made out of golden color beats......and another one is - baby blue w/ big butterfly print on my butt.........

OPM - other people's money

i drank champagne this morring for no apparent reason....................
I had an old , already opened, bottle of champagne w/ no bubbles ........
it felt like i was drinking water............
i have problems.................................................
do i?

"Keep on daydreaming 'til your dreams come true".
Arash

sad day.....
i came to early class (which is always fun) and found out that the girl that was sitting somewhere infront of me got murdered last night.......
horrible......
i didn't know her....but the prof said that she was russian , had the same name like i do and lived in the same borough as i do........
i got scared......really scared.......
even through i didn't know her......i still felt bad for her........no one deserves to get murdered at a such early age.......besides the prof said she was an A student.......

p.s. i am tired of having this conversation w/ my paretns over and over again......
they want to move back........
but i don't think its a good idea......i really don't

p.s.s both my girls said that andrew is a cutee..but somehow i just don't see it
anyway , we didn't talk to each other for about a week........
so everything is back to normal........back to my usual relationships style
back to normal......back to me....and how i handle everything
anyway.........i have no regrets......i am so stressed out about the finals , don't want to think about ANYTHING
just a sad day.............
like prof said "LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT CORPORATE FINANCE"

VisaCard , MasterCard , AmericanExpress
FUCK
How am i goint to afford Chistmass pressents
the main question how am i going to pay off???
and oh yeah...........
NO PAY for winter work as of now........
Suck it.......

"u don't relate urself to the play....at least do it
for ur partner.....just go alone w/ him atleast"....
u f*^*ng a@$ i am trying to do go along....
i am trying to do the scene in case u didn't
notice....
and oh yeah....someone of us don't have talent and
thats ok....b/c some of us are not majoring in the
theater and do plz realize that we are in bus
school....and i don't take that as an offence b/c its
ok and i see things clearly and understand that i have
no talent...thats y its not my thing...gee i only took
this class to get my last lib art credit....and this
is my last and it gives me hell...errr....why , why
didn't i drop this damn course
earlier.....errrrrr.....so upset right now.....

p.s. spent all my day playing games w/ ka wai, just to forget my problems
and didn't even work a minute.....i hope my partner is not mad at me
he had fun working on his own........i hope :-(
cause i needed some damn fun to forget that FUCKING class earlier

com prof : "u talk like a total idiot today, whats wrong w/ u?"
gee thanks......i love u too.....biAtch

today i was suppost to go to the interview......but i didn't
its a commision job......and i don't really want it......
they called me 2s today, but i said i got another offer...
haha......i had twice an opportunity to get a job this month but i didn't catch it...
lol........

first day of snow

love

it just came to my mind.....today when i looked at andrews hand...his life line looked a lot like mine.........weird........no comments