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A woman is keen to start working again now that her kids had grown up. She had taken a break of 10 years from work and is all set to enter the corporate life once again.
She wants to get her physical done before she applies for a job. So she goes and gets her physical done. When she returns home from the doctor's, her husband notices she is in an excellent mood.
So he asks her, says; "What are you so cheerful about?"
She replies, "The doc told me I have the body of a 20 year old and the heart of a teenager."
The husband jokes,"Did he say anything about your fifty year old arse?"
She snaps back, "No, he never mentioned you!"
Метки: doctor english humor jokes woman
As the waitress entered the bar, the bartender demanded, "Why are you late?"
The waitress explained,"It was terrible. I was crossing the road, when I witnessed a dreadful accident. A guy was hit by a speeding car and he was lying there on the street, with his hands and skull fractured. he was a bloody mess. Thank God I had taken that first-aid course."
The bartender asked, "How did you handle it?"
She replied, "I sat on the ground and put my head between my knees so I would not faint!"
Метки: accident bartender jokes waitress english humor
Little Sonia was looking intently at her mother.
Mother: “What’s the matter? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Sonia: “Some of your hair are white mom.”
Mother: “That’s right. Whenever you make a mischief, one of my hairs turns white. That’s how some have become white.”
Sonia was thoughtful: “Are all of grandma’s hair white due to the same reason?”
Метки: Метки hair humor jokes mischief white
English........... I Love You
Spanish.......... Te Amo
French........... Je T'aime
German.......... lch Liebe Dich
Japanese....... Ai Shite Imasu
Italian............. Ti Amo
Chinese......... Wo Ai Ni
Swedish........ Jag Alskar Dig
Hawaiian....... Aloha Wau la Oe
Irish.............. Thaim In Grabh Leat
Hebrew......... Ani Ohev Otakh
Russian........ Ya Lyublyu Tyebya
Albanian....... Une Te Dua
Finnish......... Mina Rakkastan Sinua
Turkish........ Seni Seviyorum
Hungarian... Se Ret Lay
Persian....... Du Stet Daram
Maltese....... Jien Inhobbok
Catalan...... Testimo Molt
Redneck .... Nice Tits
Метки: humor jokes love valentine's day
Some light hearted humor related to France
1. An old saying: Raise your right hand if you like the French. Raise both hands if you are French.
2. How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.
3. I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.
- General George S. Patton
4. Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.
- Norman Scwartzkopf
5. Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.
Метки: english europe france humor jokes