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Laws of Education

ƒневник

—реда, 11 јпрел€ 2012 г. 16:13 + в цитатник

Don't LOOK at anything in a physics lab.
Don't TASTE anything in a chemistry lab.
Don't SMELL anything in a biology lab.
Don't TOUCH anything in a medical lab.
and, most importantly,
Don't LISTEN to anything in a philosophy department.

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Ћетний курс английского €зыка с выдачей сертификата по окончании курса

ƒневник

„етверг, 26 јпрел€ 2012 г. 15:00 + в цитатник

Ќачинаем 4 июн€. ¬ группе максимум 9 человек.

ѕредлагаем:

1. √рамматический курс «¬ремена – не проблема» - 2 раза в неделю по 100 минут.
2. »нтенсивный курс «3-5» дл€ начинающих – 3 раза в неделю по 100 минут.
3. Ћетний киноклуб (обсуждение фильмов на английском €зыке с носителем €зыка) - 1 раз в неделю 100 минут. — уровн€ Pre-Intermediate.
4. –азговорный курс и бизнес-английский с носителем €зыка – 2 раза в неделю по 100 минут. — уровн€ Pre-Intermediate.
5. јнглийска€ игротека: Mafia + Apple-to-Apple+Scrabble – 1 раз в неделю 90 минут.

ћы находимс€: 50 метров от ст.м. ѕушкинска€, г. ’арьков, ул.ѕетровского 22/24 (во дворе за рестораном "Twenty Two", в здании лице€ "ѕрофессионал").

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Watermelons

ƒневник

—реда, 21 ћарта 2012 г. 11:32 + в цитатник

There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up the sign and posted it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign, it says "Warning!! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide."
So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next week and when he looks over the field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives up to the sign which read: "Now there are two".

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Real Life

ƒневник

ѕонедельник, 12 ћарта 2012 г. 18:12 + в цитатник

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Outrageous flattering

ƒневник

—реда, 07 ћарта 2012 г. 15:13 + в цитатник

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.
"Look, " she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other."
"You're wrong, " the young man declared. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."

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For Mummies

ƒневник

„етверг, 01 ћарта 2012 г. 17:54 + в цитатник

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Bet in the bar

ƒневник

ѕонедельник, 13 ‘еврал€ 2012 г. 20:44 + в цитатник

A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender. The man walks up to the counter, and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 that I can spray beer from my mouth into a shot glass from thirty feet away, and not get any outside the glass."

The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $1,000, so he agrees. The bartender gets out a shot glass, paces off thirty feet, and the contest begins. The man sprays beer all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says, "Well, I guess you owe me $1,000, huh?"

The man answers, "Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $500 a piece that I could come in here and spray beer all over the bar."

 

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Celebration Ended

ƒневник

—реда, 08 ‘еврал€ 2012 г. 15:06 + в цитатник

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See a dollar

ƒневник

¬торник, 10 январ€ 2012 г. 16:34 + в цитатник

Superman, Santa Clause, and a blonde are walking along and see a dollar lying on the sidewalk.
Who picks it up first?
The blonde, because the other two don't exist!

курсы английского в ’арькове, курсы немецкого в ’арькове, курсы французского в ’арькове


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Take Your Name Off

ƒневник

—уббота, 24 ƒекабр€ 2011 г. 16:29 + в цитатник

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