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Free to Move

Дневник

Вторник, 13 Декабря 2011 г. 11:33 + в цитатник

In a Southwest Airlines, the Pilot says: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land...it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

курсы английского в Харькове, курсы немецкого в Харькове, курсы французского в Харькове, симуляция iBT TOEFL в Харькове


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Creative Vision

Дневник

Понедельник, 12 Декабря 2011 г. 15:38 + в цитатник

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Без заголовка

Дневник

Суббота, 10 Декабря 2011 г. 19:58 + в цитатник

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot then looks into his pocket. he does this over and over again. finally the bartender asks why he orders a shot and after drinking it he looks into his pocket.

The man responded "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home."

 

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Accountant's daughter

Дневник

Четверг, 01 Декабря 2011 г. 19:29 + в цитатник

The accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up,
"Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"

курсы английского в Харькове, курсы немецкого в Харькове, курсы французского в Харькове


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Parking lots

Дневник

Суббота, 26 Ноября 2011 г. 13:21 + в цитатник

Two ladies are in a bar and the first lady says, "Why are men the same as parking lots".

So the second lady says "I don't know?"

So the first lady says, " all the good ones are taken and the ones that are left are handicap!"

 

курсы английского в Харькове, курсы немецкого в Харькове, курсы французского в Харькове, симуляция iBT TOEFL в Харькове


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Golden wedding anniversary

Дневник

Вторник, 22 Ноября 2011 г. 21:11 + в цитатник

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."
The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

 

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Laser Pointer

Дневник

Понедельник, 21 Ноября 2011 г. 14:25 + в цитатник

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Tap dancing duck

Дневник

Четверг, 17 Ноября 2011 г. 15:52 + в цитатник

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner.

After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"

"So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

 

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Face to face

Дневник

Вторник, 15 Ноября 2011 г. 13:50 + в цитатник

FRED: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face to face with a very fierce gorilla?

BERT: No, what happened? FRED: Well, I stood there, without a gun . . . The gorilla looked at me and snarled and roared and beat his chest. Then it came closer and closer . . .

BERT: What did you do?

FRED: Oh, I'd had enough, so I moved on to the next cage.

 

английский Харьков, немецкий Харьков, французский Харьков


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Call from 2005

Дневник

Четверг, 10 Ноября 2011 г. 20:52 + в цитатник

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