Happy Deathday!
Your name:	Katyuha
You will die on:	Friday, February 2, 2024
You will die of:	Serial Killer Victim
Username:
Created by Quill

ps - my theory is proven somehow i always felt that i will be killed...

"не рвите цветы! любой цветок будто солнце и... омовение. смотришь на цветы, любуешься ими и возникает такое чувство свободы, будто солнце тебя согрело... а вы рвёте цветы и не замечаете, что они плачут..."

"прискорбно, когда ломают деревья или ветки сирени, хотя остаётся ещё много цветков... а сорвать тюльпан или подснежник - всё равно что матери потерять единственное дитя..."

there is this cut on my hand, i have many, but this one particular cut reminds me of him... i watch it healing, just like my heart, one day it will be cured, but the scar will remain... forever...

"Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style.
And so I came to see him to listen for a while.
And there he was this young boy, a stranger to my eyes.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd,
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.
I prayed that he would finish but he just kept right on ...

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair.
And then he looked right through me as if I wasn't there.
But he just came to singing, singing clear and strong.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ... "

В колонках играет - Marilyn Manson - Coma White
Настроение сейчас - vse OK

... i guess i'm starting a new life... well, actually just getting ready for it. have to close down the past first... the last 4 months were cRaZy the 'Tim-period' you know... kind of hard now, but i'll survive

..... i see the LiGHt at the EnD of the TunneL .....

Tim Tim Tim my weird friend... the guy is unbelievable!!! if he wouldn't exist life would be boring for many people... he's a gift to the society...

My mind screams with outrage at my own stupidity and constantly chastises me with words meant to hurt... My senses, having lost control, run rampant with your memory... I see you when you are not here, I feel you when I sleep... All things considered... I cannot possibly blame this heart of mine for wanting to break and crumble to dust at my feet...

"A dwindling amount of things make this world complete...
Darkness shines on my bright light,
Brings meager hope to me.
A reason for every flaw, to cover up apathy...
Desecrated tear drops pose as wishes to a fallen child,
Who only searches for the answer to all of his prayers.
Life has many excuses...they come in different shape and forms...
Bribery, pity, and love.
To hide the pathetic truth of our feeble minds."

В колонках играет - Reamon - Supergirl
Настроение сейчас - grrr

"why what's best for you, always the worst thing for me?"

В колонках играет - Aerosmith - Crazy
Настроение сейчас -

пятница... сижу дома... так нельзя... i go crazy... надо сходить к Jeff-у., поднять настроение...
во вторник я упала на улице и ободрала лицо, синяк тоже появился, от куда и по4ему незнаю... неважно. пошла к Jeff-у жаловаться.. потом пришёл Tim... синяк заметил только 4ерез 2 4аса, долго смотрел, 4ё то думал, и ни4его не сказал! даже не спросил 4то слу4илось!!!! козёл! минут 4ерез 20 опять изу4ал моё ранение еще минут 4ерез 20 сказал 4то у меня под глазом синяк... как будто я не знала... идиот... и еще он сказал 4то его абсолютно не интересует 4то со мной слу4илось... обидно... о4ень о4ень обидно. ну как так можно??? я коне4но всегда подозревала 4то ему всё равно... меня могли бы убить на его глазах, он бы слово не сказал... мдааа, любовь зла, полюбишь и козла... великая правда.

you know you're too stressed when:

...relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest.

...you can hear mimes.

...you keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!" even though you are the only one in the room.

...David Lynch comes up to you and says: "Hey! Can I film you?"

...you and Reality file for divorce.

...you begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row over it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the rest of the night.

...you believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.

...things become "Very Clear."

"Let's swim to the moon... let's climb to the stars..."

Tim has a talent... no doubt about that... i wish he'd believe in himself more. maybe then he'd be happy...

В колонках играет - Rolling Stones - Paint it black
Настроение сейчас - yeah, yeah, yeah

"An end result or product of patience and tolerance is forgiveness. When you are truly patient and tolerant, then forgiveness comes naturally." Dalai Lama

долго думала... решила не грузиться изза него. надоело. он етого не стоит. и вообще сама виновата, постоянно тянет на всяких козлов... хорошие мальчики скучние... а мне страсть нужна, страдание и слёзы... любовь тоже, но от козла хрен дождёшся...

В колонках играет - Korn - Freak on a leash
Настроение сейчас - nikakoe

i just wish i could say goodbye... in a normal way, without anger and pain... i wish he'd talk to me again... be my friend... or at least stop pretending that nothing ever happened... because this total ignorance is killing me.

по4ему жизнь такая дерьмовая... по4ему мы верим, ме4таем, а когда однажды просыпаемся от этих снов, вдруг понимаем 4то мы успели заболеть, у нас давление и нервы к 4ёрту... становится обидно за себя и за свою душу, которую мы открили, а нам наплевали в неё... мы доверились, а нам обрезали верёвку в самый ответственный момент...

В колонках играет - Bloodhound Gang - I hope u die
Настроение сейчас - :(



today sucked big time!!! it wasn't the worst day of my life but definitely in top 5. why is that when you love somebody, that love can turn into hate within seconds??? i had the experience today... don't want to say anything about the guy, cuz i would regret it later... but still, who the fuck does he think he is? he wants to be worshiped as God, when all he is just an egocentric, vain, emotionless egoist. @#$% always cries about suicide, but would never actually commit it because he's too much in love with himself! in love? im sorry, he is unable to feel love... or to feel anything at all. except self-pity...

however... i still love him. no matter what... though im trying to get over it. asap.

just came home from extra... met a few cool people, saw Zsolti... ahh... Zsolti... anywayz, i realised that even though the guy i want doesn't give a fuck about me, i don't care anymore, or at least not now... life is beautiful, there are so many other guys in this world who would die for me!!! don't wanna waste my time on being depressed about someone who doesn't even care ( i mean, he wouldn' even notice if i'd die)... i deserve better!!! much better!
actually, i think i already found a better guy... but im not sure about it yet... we'll see. time will solve my problems

В колонках играет - Bon Jovi - Always
Настроение сейчас - gettin worse every second...

:(