Ok OK!
Before you all get your undies in a twist, I have to admit it first. I'm like the Herpies of the Live Journal World. I come one fast and furious, then disappear for several months, then come back with a vengance. I have never had Herpies but my mother is a nurse, so am well versed in its behaviour. But this is not the subject of my post.
I have decided to initiate man entrapment plan Number 700Alpha. I do not have a specific idea of the man with which I will successfully entrap, but I do know I can no longer qualify my existence by material possesions and success. I have seen other people have all these things and have decided that if I want to become a perfect individual, as the totem of Martha indicates we all must strive to be, then I need to definitly start at it. Granted my current rural situation does not lend itself well to me finding a date, let alone Mr. Perfectly Perfect. But this will give me time to lay forth the snars, and barbs of my machinations. (I like that word!)
Bri Bri's plan for world domination / MEP # 700Alpha
1) Must focus on perfecting body. Am by no means hideous but am no where close to sex kitten status. Must drink more water to curb 3rd worldesque hungerhunger pangs. Must get to gym. As fat does not burn as much of itself as muscle does. Thusly by increasing muscle mass, will become toned and fat free. Like a nutribar. but sexier.
2)Will write down goals everyday to affirm belief in their closeness and my abilities to achieve them.
3) Will practice nicety and flirtation. Will shelve mean and catty attitude for when cornered. Will become paramount of social behavior in style of Oprah Winfrey or Ellen.
4)Will keep track of transmogrification on Live Journal so world can bear witness to sucess story. Also so HBO can have accurate notes from which to spawn television series based on life.
5)Will attempt to find "trophy husband". If "trophy husband" is unattainable, will move down rung to "medal husband", then perhaps "certificate husband". Will avoid "Consolation husbands", "gag gift husbands", and "door-prize husbands". Unless it was one of those door-prizes where you get to trade with another person, until the last name is called. I'd like that. Would decrease jealousy of people in crappy happy poo face relationships, and cheer "I've got a date" friends.
6) Will be happy for people in successful relationships and not attempt to cut their photos up with toothpicks and thumbtacks. Will also attempt not to go through their medicine cabinet's while over for coffee. Obvious that no one would keep embarrassing medical cures in plain site. Must look in bedside drawers.
7) Will focus mental and spiritual energies into understanding that self is not completed by another individual and is indeed an individual. Strong and self-reliant. Will solidify moments of solitude by chanting as inner mantra, "power...power...this is the way to a realtionship", which on the surface, denying all forms of a dependancy on the need for a relationship.
Hopefully by fufilling these steps I can become the person I've always wanted to become. One of inner peace, high material worth, spiritual balance, and a realtionship that makes all those snotty, smug two-somes jealous as hell.
Love very much,
BriBri
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}
