Today is the first day of spring, but it is so cold and I am in really bad mood I don't know why.. but to look things in the face, sometimes I feel that I don't satisfied with my life. If smb look on my life - he/she will wonder - all is ideal, i have good friends, good job, i am in relationships with excellent boy and now we are going to live together. And i don't understand what the matter of my depression is.

Maybe the reason is he, he is excellent really, and all my girls are sure that it will be very silly if I break our relationships. He will be excellent husband and ideal father. I suppose I love him, but in quiet way.. 

I feel lack of emotions. Boring…

To be honest, sometimes i realixa that I miss the time we spent at nightclubs and bars.. It was time of freedom, time of revelry.. Time of luxurious cars, parties and spirits.. time of bright make up and high heels.

Maybe I am not ready to start so serious and adult life. I am 22, I will be 23 in some months and I feel that it is too early for me.. to grown up, to marry, to have children..My friends and peers marry and give birth to beautiful kids.

But I want freedom, revelry and crazy love.

Epic fail.

UPD. 

Getting warmer.. and it seems that my mood improves.
Everything will be fine. I know.