Солнечный день между ураганами...

С первого снега только семь дней, но, кажется, уже пришла весна.

Конечно зима может вернуться.

В мае, например. Это Англия, детка.

Тут был мой детский сад:

Там была первая школа:

Ровно пять лет назад мы с тобой стали друзьями... и я в тебя влюбился. День был такой чудесный.

Сегодня также годовщина смерти моего отца. Об этом я с тобой не говорил.

Ровно пять лет назад я впервые тебе написал. Уже два месяца я ждал правильного момента.

Каждый день за эти пять лет я думаю о тебе.

Не мои слова, но...

— По правде говоря,
Я перестала с тобой общаться
не из-за того, что я не люблю тебя,
а потому что я мешаю тебе.

И я просто буду ждать,
пока ты не скажешь, что скучаешь по мне,
потому что я скучаю по тебе каждый день.
Каждый час, каждую минуту, каждую секунду.

Видел эту запись в ленте, смотрел на нее минут десять.

Почему я чувствую себя виноватым?

Це Дежавю... Це_Дежавю... «Каждый раз дежавю»

Мне кажется, во снах я боюсь тебя.

Что это значит?

Я считаюсь, ты реальная, а я не. Я создан своим воображением.

Ты живая, а я давно умер.

Вообще живые боятся мертвых. А мертвые боятся живых.

Место работы:

Примеры нашей работы:

Серия сообщений "Мужчины на работе":
Часть 1 - Мужчины на работе: "Господин Счастливый"
Часть 2 - Увольнение
...
Часть 4 - Эффективность
Часть 5 - Мужчины... а не только
Часть 6 - Ваша машина в наших руках

I still dream about you.

Nothing changes.

There were two dreams together, switching back and forth. The first cartoon-like, coloured in shades of blue and magenta, the other as real as dreams get. It started in the unreal, of which I remember little.

I came "home" - I'm not sure where that was - and found almost everyone had been brutally killed. There were weapons lying on the table, big, strange things out of a sci-fi film. I knew it was connected with the War, and it was only by chance I hadn't been there and died too. They would come back for me, I had no doubt... because of who I am or what I do. I decided to run away. It might give me another couple of days. A put a few things - among them a packet of biscuits - into a small rucksack and started walking...

I found myself in the real, at the edge of the town centre on a sunny morning. It was quiet. There was a small cafe, and I decided to stop for coffee before leaving town. I went inside, stood in the queue, took out the coins from my pocket and counted how much money I had. I knew that a coffee would cost eleven, and there was enough for that. Eleven what? I don't know. When I reached the counter and asked the girl behind it for one coffee, she politely explained that they weren't serving anyone on his own. I looked at the people already seated and saw they were all in twos and threes. Then I noticed that standing next to the counter ahead of me were two acquaintances from my distant past. And the dream switched to the unreal.

The three of us had an earnest conversation about the progress and conduct of the War. I don't remember exactly what we discussed, by I quickly realised how much our views had diverged since that old days, and for some reason it was necessary to have a drive around the old "battlefields". The conversation ended on a bitter note, something to do with denying the course of evolution, and then we were back in the real, at the counter in the cafe.

"If I'd had enough money," I said as they were leaving, "I'd have bought the girl behind the counter a coffee and invited her to come and have a chat with me, instead." Naturally, the "girl behind the counter" heard what I said.

"There's no need to buy me a coffee if you want to talk with me," she said. "I'll always be pleased to talk with you."

Up to this point, I thought the girl didn't know me... but suddenly I realised that it was I who hadn't recognised her. Of course, it was She. If you have read my other accounts of dreams, you had probably already guessed.

She. My muse. Who for the last four years has been the most important person in my life. K. And I think this was the first time she spoke to me in English. She came round to the customers' side of the counter, and, finally, we really began to talk...

а ты знаешь, что мне больнее всего? знать, что я никогда не буду слышать, как ты смеешься...

Серия сообщений "О любви":
Часть 1 - Немного о прошлом
Часть 2 - Влюбленность временная
Часть 3 -

Last night, for the first time in a long time, I cried myself to sleep.

The last twelve months have been very difficult, trying to accept that I can never be a part of your life. After a summer of preparing for and making my little trip, last autumn brought the realisation that it was all over, and with that, depression.

So that I don't spend all my time just thinking about you, I find myself throwing myself into other activities, which quickly become obsessions. And once I realise how unsatisfying they are, I immediately abandon them. Usually that means abandoning other people, and the guilt I feel just makes everything worse.

I'm even at the point of giving up on last.fm... without which I would never have found you four years ago.

Not being able to concentrate on anything serious due to noise from building work, last week I decided to have some fun on VK, and joined all the crazy people adding hundreds of friends because... well, there's no reason, it's just that you can, so why not? It's a fun distraction. And for a short while longer, I'm not thinking about you.

Of course even there I never really get away from thoughts about you. I haven't visited your page in more than fifteen months. But you remain my #1 bookmark, so I always notice when you change your photo. And this week's... you are breathtakingly beautiful.

When I checked yesterday evening on whether there had been visitors to some of my pages, I had a big surprise. Probably better to  call it a shock. You had visited this page and my last.fm earlier. And that brought me back down to Earth.

I know that I can never be a part of your life, and I'm trying to keep a distance so as not to bring any difficulty or pain to you.

But I am deeply touched to know that once in a while you still think about me.

So after all my attempts to escape these feelings, now I am back at the beginning. It's an impossible love. Right now the tears are rolling down my cheeks. I love you, K, and always will.

Люди говорят, и пишут, о том, как они начинают новую жизнь или начинают жизнь заново.

Я сомневаюсь, что это возможно, но если да, то хотелось бы вместе с тобой.