And you know what? Who needs tutors. Really. All they do is waste your time trying to teach you stuff you didn't pay attention to the first time. Why would I listen to it this time around too? Just because you're really pretty? Hmm? And then they kiss you with their soft lips and make you feel dizzy, and then THEY STOP TALKING TO YOU FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK WHILE YOU TRY AND SOLVE YOUR BEST FRIEND'S LOVE CRISIS AND YOU ACTUALLY USE YOUR BRAIN FOR ONCE AND THINK UP A PLAN TO MAKE YOUR BEST FRIEND'S LOVE INTEREST JEALOUS, BUT IT BACKFIRES BECAUSE YOUR BEST FRIEND'S LOVE INTEREST INVITED YOUR DUMB GAY TUTOR AND HE THINKS YOU'RE DATING YOUR BEST FRIEND WHEN YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT, BECAUSE WHO WOULD DATE SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE THEY JUST CAME OUT OF THE AMAZON?!!

FAT PEOPLE RUIN EVERYTHING.

I turn around from Tom's kitchen island to see my two friends staring at me like I'm crazy with my fully crunched beer can and an angry blaze on my face. Well I am crazy!(c)