The degree of sexual desire in a couple does not always coincide. Relationship expert Susan Winter gives seven tips on how to behave in such a situation.
Desire comes and goes. For a while, you may be obsessed with sex and then find yourself cold to it. Your partner is not immune from the same. And that's okay.
However, when the chosen one or the chosen one loses the fuse, it is very difficult not to take it personally. But here it is important to remember: there are a lot of reasons why a person temporarily cools to physical intimacy, and it is necessary to support him at this moment.
Here's what to do if you find yourself in a similar situation.
1. Don't make your partner feel bad
Once you've realized that the lack of desire isn't related to you or your actions, honestly tell your partner how it affects you.
Don't find fault with him, judge him, or humiliate him. But let him know that the lack of sex affects your affection.
You are in a relationship and you lack what seems to belong to you by right. Do not ignore this fact, otherwise you will get into a hopeless situation.
Susan Winter
2. Delve into the causes
Be receptive to your partner's explanations about why they are no longer interested in intimacy. The reasons can be very different: antidepressants, stress, anxiety or illness. If the answer is "simply because", then the situation requires even more careful analysis.
If you only hear "you have to be above this", then this is a good reason to rethink the relationship. In a healthy partnership, your half will do everything to keep you happy.
Susan Winter
3. Focus on other aspects of your relationship
Yes, sex is a very important part of a relationship. But there are more important things. And by focusing your attention on them, you can amplify them.
The more you focus on the problem, the worse it looks. Get out of the house. Do something fun together. Take care of any interesting activity together. This will strengthen the sense of connection and intimacy between you.
Susan Winter
4. Reboot
Over time, any relationship can become stagnant. Try rebooting them. If this simple operation works with a computer and phone, it can help your sex life.
Nothing kills romance like predictability. Therefore, you need to try something new or unexpected.
Susan Winter
Have an unplanned picnic, go to a concert, do something that will give you pleasure. Do something unusual to reboot your partner and yourself.
5. Leave the city
Vacation is also a reset. In addition, everyone likes to get out of the city and change the environment.
Sometimes a new place can revive a relationship. New scenery, smells and experiences can activate our senses and awaken to joy.
Susan Winter
6. Make fear your ally
Studies have proven that fear increases your attractiveness to your partner. And all because adrenaline awakens sexual desire. So you can use that knowledge to your advantage.
Break down your routine and gain new experiences to boost your level of excitement. It really can work.
Susan Winter
7. Talk to a professional
If you've never gone to a therapist, now is the time to start. Family therapy can not only help with sexual problems, but also improve other aspects of relationships.
You need to investigate the reason for the lack of desire in your partner. Is it physical? Psychological, emotional? This is where the process of solving the problem begins.
Susan Winter
At the end of the day, it's about your connection to each other. About what you both want from a relationship. You need to deal with it, and then work on the part that needs to be adjusted
