В колонках играет - Paolo Nutini - Iron sky
Настроение сейчас - Shit of course

Hm. I suppose i need to write here only when life seems to be a very shitty place. This diary for me is a trash box.

Here we go again.

So I suppose the fact that hadn't written here for practically a year is a very good thing.

What I can say: I am no longer a virgin. Yay! Yep, that was my very interesting goal for this year and yay! I did it. Apart from that people are still shit. Useless, careless, selfish shit.

I am still searching for myself in this world, passively, but still.

I did feel better during the relationships but now when they kind of ended I feel terrible again. 

So the problem is me. It is not right to be living only in the relationships. You have to live on your own. But I am sort of incapable of that. I just need someone to care for me but people usually just don't. Sad, right? I just don't understand: even if I was normal, kind of, would it have been more ok for people to be such weak pathetic selfish creatures? If I wasn't hurting because of my complexes from childhood so what? It would have been normal for people to be this aweful?

Ok then. I suppose I need to work on myself. Not to be that sincere. Not to be that real. Not to be that caring. Not to be that loving. Not to be that patient. Yeah, I just should be a selfish not caring bitch. That will definitely attract people I suppose? Yeah. Right.