Shit, shit, shit!!!!!!!!! It's the most painful thing - I know WHAT I should do , but its so f***** hard to do this simple things!!!
why on Earth is it so hard to let people go?! to parish for couple of days...WHY do I want to be LOVED SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much???!!! why is it the cornerstone of my existence? fu**!!!fu**!!fu**!!! I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo angry with myself! feeling soooooooooooooooooooo pity for myself! the whole emotional thing is driving me crazy! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I want evrth to go easier!!!! I want LOVE, peace and adventures....WHY on Earth do I forbid myself from having that?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
why am I so weak? why am so much in pain over little things? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY do not I love myself enough to let go, to forgive myself, to allow myself to have all the benefits there are for me?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????