life falls neatly into two parts-the real and sensible bit full of work and school and people all wanting something; and the other, cold, alien world where we are strangers, a world we try to deny, ignore, write off as something only psychiatrists and their patients deal with.

i have managed to stay in the normal, ahem, *normal*, world for a few months now. it felt strange but ok, kind of like a two week holiday to a luxury resort-its all nice and fluffy but you know you will be back in horrible weather and nasty job where you belong very soon. the *occult world* is catching up with me, and i have a feeling i wont get away from it that easily this time. something big out there is playing with me-lets me off the leash for a bit, lets me taste a bit of freedom, then puts me back in the cage again.... like someone saying, right, youve had your fun, now get back to what youre meant to be doing..... weirdness. and the most weird thing is that it all MAKES SENSE.....