I didnt wrote much, I kept my self in silence for long time, yet talking to myself, I wrote a little story, about my self or about me from my point of view, point of view of crazy, of selfish, of child that wished only one thing, of mystory person to himself. Anyway the story began. This story with lost love, lost freindship, lost mind, and darkness that lurked my mind or perhapes just made them more clear.
The reason of my silence
Its not the pain with blood,
Its not the screams from city,
Its my woundet heart,
That made my life so pitty,
I tryd to cry it out,
But no tear had fallen,
I tryd to shout it loud,
But my voice was holden,
Then I closed my mouth,
My pitty dreams were stolen.
The reason of my silence,
Lives deep inside of me,
The reason of my silence,
Keep grow as I can see,
The time keeps passing by,
And I still wish to cry,
But still the eyes are dry,
The humans still asking why,
Its not the pain with blood........
The diory begin:
I Child Hood:
My silence was around me as long as I can remember, quite child, if no one bothers then I simply invisible.
Back then I started to be a loud, I was using others, played with them as they are the toys.
I grew with time, my skills in everything growth, I always gained the wished, my choices wanst my, I used dreams of others. As they wished, I gained.
Humans aperantly wished to be my freinds and some of them paid a lot for it.
Yime passed I used humans by human, my weapon was my speech, my words, I made others to feel themself in another way, with passing time I noriced that I make others a little suffer, I choosed to leave comunity, yet the humans that my freindship fallowed me.
II Voice:
Humans liked my words; so great, so fits, they understood that I can put in words what others cant even think of.
My words, lyrics, songs, poems all of that made them keep fallowing my way. Yet they never understood, never listened to the great words that thstrongly admired.
I understood, they like my voice, not the sound but barely the meaning.
They always wished me around, I never get to understand why. Why someone keep admiring me, me the one that always tryd to get lost from sight of humans.
Day by day trying to avoid humans, unsuccessfully. I just stoped to talk unless I had no choise.
III Call it Elusion:
With time passing I gained only emptyness, darkness, silence the things that I wished. I nicknamed as samurai, ninja and in another nicknames that helped to gain lonliness. Lots of humanssimply turned of me, that was my success. But once a human as I know started to talk a little of energy.I told him lot about it, since then he didnt realy leaved my side. We firstly talked about using mystory energy.
The energy of life, as I know called "chi" first found about 4,000 years ago by the korean, maybe chineese, maybe by japanese and maybe by thoose who bee around that area, its said that its energy of living bodys and death spirits too, as humans, wolfs and another beasts. I teached him how to use, drain from others, explained that its wrong to do it, its a crime that I am the most guilty in.
I teached him to control his chi, I lend him forbidden knowledge for testing the humanity once again. At first I thought he doing well, his quite about and that all I can ask.
With time I teached manye others but I didnt gave them the whole story, part by part this knowledege will live and maybe some day gets to be completed.
I learned storys, legends and believes all of them sound the same, taking all this pices, I gained a big picture of this puzzle, its logical but yet, I learned from my mother that yet its not the true picture, maybe it is, but I cant be sure. Maybe all that is just a big elusion.
IV Empty Eyes:
As all the students unawer of their importance, in their knowledge.
As I cant look for all of them, I tryd to learn new technick, to see without eyes. I emptyd my eyes, unusing them, took me long time to get a better instincts yet I cant see much. I need to start to close my eyes and use it that way.
Humans have bad instincts, alhrough I could understand the danger and to save from it without my eyes, I cant start explaining that technick.
I need lonliness wich I cant reach.
There is to much on my mind.
My technick growth. I cant control another technick, I forgot how, I fear that I lost this abilitys. I need blood for recovery the last powers, I am not a vampire but the search for prey, I geuss I just addicted to blood maybe with it ill be able to fill my eyes and use the lost techick.
V Visions from Darken Silence:
With all that time I started to gain weard dreams althrough before that I had no dreams at all.
This dreams came after releasing the sound of the ghost town to my ears.
I cant remember a thing from the dreams. They coming more and more, sometimes I hear the voices from my own mind, they coming with the winds, with the silence. They seem to come from darkness, a little by little I start to understand them, I forgot one name that the winds whisperd to me years ago, maybe it was important Ill try to regain this female name...
I just now rememberd to notice my love to rain, winter and winds that come with it. In the winter the sun disapears more and I feel better of it. I love the rains as it is the most close thing to cry that I have. Its sound remind me of my forbidden dreams to enter to the ghost town, the town named Silent Hill, its name of game, good game I liked the scenaris, Now I feel as part of itas it said you cant find a way to this town you simply apear there. Toose voices from darken silence that make me feel like crazy humans talk in unknown language to me. It usualy begins with acident, dream. or one door that knocked right after you gone throw and then you notice that its locked.
VI Yearly Mist.
Year ago there was this mist, like in Silent Hill not much humans was on the silent streets, the filling of darness created by light, heevy clouds of ash on streets, the small forest looks like hunted by spirits and much larger then it is.
The city buildings was almost hidden completly, the children park reminet a horror movies while the sound of cars made it creepy, if it would be rain the filling of cold horror would be completed.
Every person on the streets looked like a demon, it gave to me the filling of past. Todays lamps are to light, I cant find a dark place in the night, with mist I probably would find a good place to be alone in. Unfortently I choosed different road in that special day.
I have this filling that the next yearly mist will come soon, last one created by sand and how air coming from humans breath.
If to think of it this whole country is always in a big mist, its simply the amount of the hot but frozen air in the atmoshpere. She smiled again this day well thats atleast how I just felt, this spirit that can be far or right under my eyes, I cant know from what distance the wind bringing this messeges. All I know its that she got a nice name and a great face maybe long hair and maybe its just another elusion created by the mist that lives in my head.
I hope this mist will come after all the answers for my questions always came from mystory, empty air a simple yearly mist.
VII Bloody Heal:
I will keep waiting for the mist but maybe it will never come, I every week train a little usualy untill I get my body to its limit or simply wound it a lot, my body growing in the healing ability it took week to heal wounds, now it goes in several days I have the filling that now is heals in one single day, well exseptfor my fist. In sport tests I suprise myself. I do everything perfectly maybe not the best results but yet I do it greatly without trying much and when its over I suprised that I did the terms. Its funny damage that I do it my self disapears slowly and the one by others heals bery fast. I feel like the whole body of my start to learn what I tryd to teach for years, I dont have the seelf control, the time to try the technick, to try just to learn, to make it work yet somehow slowly, but surely the technicks comes to live, something awoken my powers yet it will take time untill I will gain the whole ot it back. My bloody healing comes back next I hope the great chi shoot will retrieved by me.
VII Find th Gate:
Bit, another two bits, bit another two bits and again and faster, step two bits, another step two bits, another step four bits and faster and more. I searched for the door, the gate to my fantasy, my dream. I found a door inside of me, now I need to open it. Time passing, wounds healing, my heavy hands get light again and then I try again to open the door, the gate, my hands keep bleeding and the heart keep bitting, faster and slower as it wishs. I cant concentrate in a thing. The door is to strong to break, and this gate protected by many things.
First to break throw the guard after to break the door or maybe oen it with the right key.
