Yesterday M asked me to tell him about my first love. I did, without minor ditails..
I feel like call him, the guy who was my first love. Hm.. I miss him.
And I miss that person who I used to be. A lot.
It happened about 2,5 years ago.

I am so sick! AW!!!!!!
Hard to breath, don't know what edicine to take i don't have anything for allergy.
Got some american stuff, so i'll see if it's gonna work! Hope so.
Yeah, with M everything's fine now.
We had a conversation and I told him about everything that made me upset that day and what I thought was wrong.
He said that he knows that sometimes acts differently when he is with different people... aha.
So we're good now, he just came over as a surprise..... nice.

I'm glad to go to sleep right now.
Haven't slept here for a while. Mmm, my bed!))))) I missed it.

Настроение сейчас - wanna be nowhere.. I need time to think.

Still sick. But I'm gonna be alright, I have a faith in myself)))
Yesterday was very INTERESTING evening. I saw people from the other side, sudenly.
I realized how much I've changed.
Felt like suddenly I figured out what kinda person I am.
Unexpectedly.
I know that.
I found myself staying when I used to leave ("уходить в сад")
I don't hide anymore. I just stay and see what will happen then.
It's like a torture and it hurts.
But I'm among other people, but it's not my point.
No.
I don't run from things anymore. Anymore.
But I used to.
I wanted to leave when it was getting too tough to handle the situation.

And M.
I think I Saw him too.
He is not that kind of person I thought he is.
I would talk to him about it yesterday but I didn't want to spoil the evening.
Dissapoined and broken.What else can I say.
I think we went too far away. I should have stopped myself long ago.
But it's too late now..

Jee! Am I that dramatic?)))
Well.. this is all what I feel.

Настроение сейчас - praying

SAd.
Depressive.
Dissapoining.
Helpless.
Hopeless.
Comepletely hopeles.

My friend called me from russian
We talked for about 5 minutes, not longer than that.
She told me that my other friend, a boy, he has a lung cancer.
It's bad.
*gonna cry*

It's always hard to lose people who mean something to you. (He is such a great guy!)

*Please, don't die*

What is rain?
Doesn't mean for us anything. Anymore.
We don't drink it - HAHA!))) Do we need it? Sure we do! But would we care if there would be know rain?
Do a lot of people even like rain?

I rememer couple summers ago in summer when i went to the countryside to see my grandparents.. there was rainy.. I was running unders the rain, jumping, screaming, dancing............ it was amazing. There was something magical about this day.
So...
We don't care. Do we? hm...
Well, just when we're thinking about what to wear...