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Podcast: Fake News is an Oracle

, 02 2019 . 19:17 ()

In my latest podcast, I read my new Locus column: Fake News is an Oracle. For many years, I've been arguing that while science fiction can't predict the future, it can reveal important truths about the present: the stories writers tell reveal their hopes and fears about technology, while the stories that gain currency in our discourse and our media markets tell us about our latent societal aspirations and anxieties.

Fake news is another important barometer of our societal pressure: when we talk about conspiratorial thinking, we tend to do so ideologically, asking ourselves how it is that the same old conspiracy theories have become so much more convincing in recent years (anti-vax is as old as vaccination, after all), and treating the proponents of conspiracies as though they had acquired the ability to convince people by sharpening their arguments (possibly with the assistance of machine-learning systems).

But when you actually pay attention to the things that conspiracy-pushers say, there's no evidence that they're particularly convincing. Instead of ideological answers to the spread of conspiracies, we can look for material answers for the change in our public discourse.

Fake news, in this light, reveals important truth about what our material conditions have led us to fear (that the ship is sinking and their aren't enough life-boats for all of us) and hope (that we can get a seat in the lifeboat if we help the powerful and ruthless push other people out).

Ten years ago, if you came home from the doctors with a prescription for oxy, and advice that they were not to be feared for their addictive potential, and an admonition that pain was the fourth vital sign, and its under-treatment was a great societal cruelty, you might have met someone who said that this was all bullshit, that you were being set up to be murdered by a family of ruthless billionaires whose watchdog had switched sides.

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"Fake News is an Oracle": how the falsehoods we believe reveal the truth about our fears and aspirations

, 01 2019 . 19:54 ()

For many years, I've been arguing that while science fiction can't predict the future, it can reveal important truths about the present: the stories writers tell reveal their hopes and fears about technology, while the stories that gain currency in our discourse and our media markets tell us about our latent societal aspirations and anxieties. In Fake News is an Oracle, my latest Locus Magazine column, I use this tool to think about the rise of conspiratorial thinking and ask what it says about our world.

Fake news is another important barometer of our societal pressure: when we talk about conspiratorial thinking, we tend to do so ideologically, asking ourselves how it is that the same old conspiracy theories have become so much more convincing in recent years (anti-vax is as old as vaccination, after all), and treating the proponents of conspiracies as though they had acquired the ability to convince people by sharpening their arguments (possibly with the assistance of machine-learning systems).

But when you actually pay attention to the things that conspiracy-pushers say, there's no evidence that they're particularly convincing. Instead of ideological answers to the spread of conspiracies, we can look for material answers for the change in our public discourse.

Fake news, in this light, reveals important truth about what our material conditions have led us to fear (that the ship is sinking and their aren't enough life-boats for all of us) and hope (that we can get a seat in the lifeboat if we help the powerful and ruthless push other people out). Read the rest


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A "Fake News Game" that "vaccinates" players against disinformation

, 27 2019 . 21:04 ()

Bad News is a free webgame created by two Cambridge psych researchers; in a 15-minute session, it challenges players to learn about and deploy six tactics used in disinformation campaigns ("polarisation, invoking emotions, spreading conspiracy theories, trolling people online, deflecting blame, and impersonating fake accounts").

The game was created to test the hypothesis that learning how these techniques worked would make players more discerning when they were encountered in the wild. To evaluate the proposition, players are quizzed before and after the game and asked to evaluate the credibility of a series of tweets.

In their analysis of the results, the study authors make the case that the game is indeed capable of "vaccinating" players against disinformation. During the three months that the study ran, 43,687 subjects played the game. These subjects (a "convenience sample") were self-selecting and skewed older, educated, male and liberal, but "the sample size still allowed us to collect relatively large absolute numbers of respondents in each category."

Based on the pre- and post-game quizzes, the authors conclude that learning the mechanics of disinformation teaches players to detect these techniques in the wild; however, the study does not explore whether these effects are persistent beyond the few moments after a fifteen minute intervention. It's a promising start, but -- as the old saying goes -- "more study is needed."

Overall, despite these limitations, we highlight the potential of game-based psychological interventions to combat the problem of misinformation at the individual level. The participation rate and overall success of the game as a translational intervention (outside of the research context) further show that there is a high demand for evidence-based materials that help stem the flow of online misinformation.

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, 08 2019 . 11:30 ()


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, 08 2019 . 11:29 ()

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, 18 2019 . 20:03 ()

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, 04 2019 . 22:27 ()


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Scientology hell, Hollywood destroyed, and Prince Charles illegal marriage, in this weeks dubious tabloids

, 03 2019 . 21:57 ()

They put the hype in hyperbole. They put the tat in overstatement. They put the mountain in molehill.
This week's tabloids put the retch in stretching the truth, with sickening disregard for the facts.

What is Destroying Hollywood? According to the Globe, its the Michael Jackson child molestation scandal, in which superstars Barbra Streisand and Diana Ross both expressed support for the late pop idol, only to buckle under savage criticism and emphasized their sympathy for any victims of pedophilia. Or, as the Globe puts it: Hollywood A-listers at each others throats over kiddie scandal. Despite the fact that no A-listers (or B-, C-, or D-listers) have publicly attacked them. Evidently its the end of Hollywood as we know it. Tragic.

My Life in Scientology Hell! is the explosive exclusive dominating the cover of the National Enquirer, claiming that Tom Cruises daughter Bella is breaking her silence for [the] first time. Bella actually spoke out in official Scientology promotional materials about her joy at completing training to become an auditor, which would be really useful at tax time if only it meant shed studied accountancy, rather than the Scientology version of "auditing," which enables her to help "train" new recruits.

Im not one to carry water for this divisive cult, but its depressing to see the Enquirer twist Bella's words so egregiously. She wrote of her training, including hard work . . . a lot of effort . . . meltdowns and running to the bathroom to have . Read the rest


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Mueller snubbed, Harry and Meghan exiled, and suicidal airline pilots in this weeks dubious tabloids

, 28 2019 . 01:36 ()

The Mueller Report is conspicuously absent from this weeks tabloids, despite landing with ample time for their deadlines. Its a measure of how far the Trump-loving propaganda rags have publicly distanced themselves from the White House that their front covers arent screaming Total Exoneration.

No doubt that has something to do with the U.S. Attorneys Office for the Southern District of New York's continuing investigation into the National Enquirer catch-and-kill policy of buying incriminating stories about Trump and suppressing them, with Enquirer publisher and Trump pal David Pecker cooperating with prosecutors. As headlines go, Total Exoneration would be about as accurate as much of this weeks fact-challenged tabloid offerings.

Royal Family Disowns Harry & Meghan Banished to Malta by Fed-up Queen, proclaims the front page of the Enquirer. Thats doubtless news to the Royal couple, who have spent the past six months renovating Frognall Cottage in Windsor, England, where they plan to move in shortly. Perhaps theyll turn it into an Airbnb rental once theyre in Malta?

Scott Peterson Death Row Pardon! declares the Globe covers report on its favorite convicted killer. Gloating killer dances with joy, the rag reports, which seems unlikely since he hasnt been granted a pardon, and is unlikely to ever receive one. The story is inspired by a wildly inaccurate reading of California Governor Gavin Newsoms newly-issued moratorium on the death penalty, which affects Scott Peterson along with 736 others on the states Death Row. And while the moratorium is morally and judicially welcome, it has little practical effect in a state where the last execution was more than 13 years ago because of repeated legal challenges. Read the rest


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, 25 2019 . 13:38 ()


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Angelinas boozing, Prince Charles divorce, and college entry cheat Lori Loughlin tells all, in this weeks dubious tabloids

, 21 2019 . 03:55 ()

Do tabloid editors even read what their reporters write? Its hard to imagine, given the disconnect between headlines and the barely-detectable trace elements of facts contained in the stories beneath them.

Alex Trebek Lung & Liver Surgery reports the cover story of this weeks National Enquirer. But hes had neither surgery according to the story on the inside pages about the beloved host of TVs Jeopardy, who recently admitted having stage four pancreatic cancer. Is Trebek even poised to undergo such surgeries? Not according to the Enquirer, which says he may be considering such measures. Or maybe he isnt considering them at all?

Monster Moms Tell All, screams the front cover of Us magazine, promising the inside scoop on Lori Laughlin and Felicity Huffmans role in the college cheating scandal. But neither actress says a single word. About anything. The mag reports: Now both women are trying to explain away their involvement. Evidently theyre not trying to explain it to Us.

"R. Kelly Flunks Lie Test! yells a spread in the Globe. A super-scientific what-could-possibly-go-wrong voice stress analysis of the beleaguered singer's appearance on TV with Gayle King shows that Kelly was stressed and therefore must have been lying. Why else would anyone be stressed appearing on national TV being accused of pedophilia? It boggles the mind why voice analysis isnt used in criminal courts nationwide. Tom Cruise could have really used one in Minority Report instead of relying on those flaky precogs.

Sometimes you just wish that celebrities read their own press, so that theyre on the same page of the script as the tabloids. Read the rest Angelinas boozing, Prince Charles divorce, and college entry cheat Lori Loughlin tells all, in this weeks dubious tabloids


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The Queen dying, Brad Pitts bigamy, and official approval for hand jobs, in this weeks dubious tabloids

, 14 2019 . 00:04 ()

Like a dog chasing a stick thrown a great distance by a trebuchet, this weeks tabloid stories are far-fetched.

Did the Queen catch her left hand in a closing door? Not if you believe this weeks National Enquirer, which interprets her purple paw as a diagnosis of leukemia, prompting its world exclusive cover story: Queen, 92, Dying. Predictably, the secret diagnosis has Charles and William competing for the crown, reports the Enquirer, which views the Royal succession like a reality TV show competition, in which whoever wins the immunity challenge gets to be King. Youd think by now that someone would have told the Royals that The Act of Settlement of 1701 mandates the monarchs next in line as heir, regardless of who gets voted out by the palace tribe.

Equally beggaring belief is the Globe cover story about former husband and wife duo Aniston and Pitt, under the headline: Jen & Brad Elope! When they reunited briefly and awkwardly at Jennifer Anistons 50th birthday party last month, the Globe reports: They knew it was destiny and they belonged together. Because how else do you explain them both turning up at the same party she invited him to, if not destiny? So when Jen jetted to Mexico recently with friends (because why elope alone?) she sneaked away to tie the knot with Pitt in a secret ceremony. But wait Brad's divorce from Angelina Jolie has not been finalized yet, so that would make him a bigamist if the story is true. Read the rest


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CIA helped Hitler hide after WWII, Prince Harrys real dad, and Freddie Mercurys secret son, in this weeks dubious tabloids

, 07 2019 . 02:12 ()

Credulity is stretched like a hamstring before a yoga class in this weeks eco-friendly tabloids, which do their bit for the environment by recycling old stories and passing them off as new again.

Prince Harry names REAL DAD Godfather! reports the National Enquirer. Harry has allegedly named as godfather to his unborn child his longtime mentor Mark Dyer: his real father according to the Enquirer. Dyer was a friend of Princess Diana, and hes a redhead, so if that isnt definitive proof hes Harrys father, what is? Enquirer sister website RadarOnline touted this same story on February 8, and it doesnt look any more convincing a month later.

Prince Harrys wife Duchess Meghan "Demands Panic Room! proclaims another Enquirer story, claiming that British taxpayers are footing the $50,000 bill at her hoity-toity new digs! The plans are so secret that only local politicians have seen them! Presumably those local politicians are also known as the local councils Building & Works Committee. Its not only a story recycled from Londons Daily Mirror on November 28, 2018, but it also ran in the Enquirer on February 21 but you cant expect the editors to read what they write in past editions.

CIA Helped Hitler Escape Germany! screams the Globe, taking old stories to new limits. Would it be churlish to point out that the CIA was created in 1947, two years after they allegedly faked the Fuhrer's death in a Berlin bunker and smuggled him to Colombia? The Globe offers readers a photograph of a former SS officer in Colombia after WWII seated with a man whose mustache and haircut bear shocking similarities to the Nazi chief. He has the same hair and whiskers as Hitler? Read the rest


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Royal bombshells, Obamas boozing daughter, and if Star Treks Captain Kirk was a cat, in this weeks dubious tabloids

, 28 2019 . 23:15 ()

How could so much misinformation be packed into so few words?

A bombshell psychological report in the latest National Enquirer reveals that Princess Meghan is a ticking time bomb who could explode at any moment, according to royal insiders! Shes emotionally tortured! screams the Enquirer cover, touting The Secret Psych Report!" Setting aside for a moment that the former Meghan Markle is not a Princess but only a Duchess, one wonders: How did the Enquirer get their hands on such an incendiary top secret report? Simple. They commissioned it.

Might I suggest that its not a secret report if youre the ones who order it, pay for it, and are the first to know its results? But its royal insiders who put the report together, according to the Enquirers opening sentence. Except the story makes it clear that no royal insider, let alone any member of the royal family, ever contributed to this report. Its been compiled "at the Enquirers request by the dubious Institute of BioAccoustic Biology in Ohio, which claims to diagnose patients by analyzing their voice.

Thats right: Duchess Meghan suffers from huge emotional conflicts, trauma and confusion, according to a report by analysts who have never met with or spoken to her. But they have listened to recordings of her talking, and they have a computer algorithm to diagnose health issues and psychological characteristics. It couldnt be more high-tech if the Institute shot out laser beams and read her brainwaves which is why we should all be wearing tin foil hats. Read the rest


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@OSkabeeva .

, 28 2019 . 20:16 ()


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, 21 2019 . 21:35 ()

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Trump and Bezos exiled, Royals riled, and Ted Bundys child, in this weeks dubious tabloids

, 21 2019 . 03:28 ()

Is the National Enquirer running scared? Theres not a mention of either Amazon chief Jeff Bezos or president Donald Trump in this weeks edition. Could it be that the threat of investigation and possible prison time for hacks accused of extortion and blackmail against Bezos and burying sex scandals about Trump have finally silenced the nattering nabobs of negativism? Bezos and The Donald escape lightly this week, but others arent so lucky.

Prince Charles Disowns Harry! proclaims the Globe cover. Prince Harry reportedly refused Charles demand that he divorce wife Meghan, and in the ensuing row Charles raged that DNA tests have proven hes not Harrys father. Which would explain why Charles allegedly said: Youre a common-born bastard. Arent we all? The odds that this conversation actually happened? Infinitesimally small. The odds that the Globe has a source inside Kensington Palace revealing this private conversation? Even smaller.

The Globe claims that serial killer Ted Bundys daughter has been "found hiding in Britain" under an assumed name. No, its not Meghan Markle. And the woman their reporter approached said: Im sorry, Im not the person youre looking for. Sounds like an admission of guilt if there ever was one.

Scientology Leaders Missing Wife Found After 13 Years! declares the Enquirer cover, though the headline above the inside spread is far less confident, asking: Is This Shelly Miscavige? Its definitely a photograph of a dark-haired woman, reportedly seen disembarking a Scientology cruise ship and heading to Florida, which as we all know is a state where Scientologists have been known to live. Read the rest


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Queen in drunken brawl, Prince Harrys hell, and Meghan Markles secrets, in this weeks dubious Royal tabloids

, 07 2019 . 02:35 ()

The worlds longest-running soap opera, otherwise known as the British Royal Family, takes some shocking plot twists in this weeks dramatic though fact-challenged tabloids.

Drunken Camillas Brawl With Queen! screams the Globe, complete with a photo of Her Majesty with a bloody eye wound. Raging Camilla attacked the Queen, threw a glass of red wine in her face and ripped a treasured pearl necklace from Her Majestys throat before Prince Charles dragged her off, the rag reports. Crazy drunk Camilla snaps as insults fly, claims the tabloid, which has a storied history of quoting verbatim from private conversations among the Royals, thanks to a series of well-hidden listening devices or possibly an over-active editorial imagination. When they make the TV movie the Queen will doubtless played by Joan Collins, and Camilla by Linda Evans. Expect a cat-fight in the Royal lily pond.

Is it unsporting to note that the photo of the bloodied monarch at Scotlands Balmoral Castle was actually taken on November 2, 2016, at the launch of Prince Andrews Pitch@Palace Event in London? Surely only a cad would point out that the Queens photo has been flipped, and the burst blood vessel in her left eye seen in the Globe was actually in her right eye two years ago? I wouldnt stoop so low.

Prince Harrys months-old marriage to Meghan Markle dominates the National Enquirer under the headline: Harry Confesses to William: Its Hell at Home! . . . This was the biggest mistake of my life! A distraught Harry begged his big brother, Prince William, for advice. My advice: Stop reading the tabloids. Read the rest


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russo tv

, 02 2019 . 17:44 ()

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Glenn Millers death plane, Robert Dursts cannibal appetites, and exploding heads in this weeks dubious tabloids

, 24 2019 . 02:42 ()

There are trace elements of facts in many of this weeks tabloids stories, but that hasnt stopped the rags alchemists from spinning gold out of these barely-detectable sub-atomic particles.

George Clooney and wife Amal have purchased an estate on the Italian isle of Sardinia, but because shes there with their twins and George is away, the National Enquirer cover story proclaims: Clooney Divorce Explodes Amal Moves Out! She has reportedly fled their marital home in England and furious George has begged Amal to come back." Except Clooney isnt in England. He has been working in Los Angeles, as the most cursory investigation would have told the Enquirer. But if Amal is in Sardinia and George isnt there, they must be getting divorced. Right?

"Glenn Miller Death Plane Found! reports the Globe. Well, not exactly. The unidentified wreckage of a WWII-era plane was found off the south coast of England. So the Globe figures this must be the big band leaders plane, because no other planes went down in the sea during WWII, did they?

Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton is the target of terrorists as ISIS Plants Poison in Kates Grocery Store, claims the Globe. Or at least, a post on an extremist website suggested that someone should poison her groceries, which means its as good as happened.

Jennifer Aniston is adopting a baby girl from a Mexican orphanage, the Globe reports under the happy headline: Jen Anistons Mom At Last!" Apparently she has made a donation to a Mexican orphanage, so it stands to reason she must be taking one of the kids home. Read the rest


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Back to the future with this weeks time-traveling tabloids

, 20 2018 . 00:10 ()

This weeks tabloids have climbed into their DeLorean, sped up to 88 mph, and raced back to the future to report on scandals that wont actually happen until next week.

The British Royal Family doesn't gather at Sandringham Palace until Christmas Eve, yet days before this festive conclave, the Globe gleefully reports on a clash that almost kills the Queen on Christmas Day. Queen, 92, Collapses As Meghan Starts All-Out Family War! screams the Globe cover.

A battle reportedly erupted as Britains most famous real-life soap stars sat down to watch British TVs most beloved soap opera EastEnders an unlikely Royal tradition beloved by the Queen which is set to air on Christmas Day at 9:15 p.m. It was a recipe for disaster, reports the Globe, whose crack squad of psychic reporters have been working overtime looking into the future.

Meghan was so bored by the TV show (which, Ill point out again, has not yet screened) that she began to walk out, when sister-in-law Kate whispered to her to remain. Meghan went crazy! reports the magazine, which redundantly tags its exclusive Only in Globe! She allegedly yelled: Dont tell me what to do!

The Queen rose from her armchair to intervene in the bitter catfight when Her Majesty suddenly collapsed, falling backwards, dizzy and pale," say unnamed sources who clearly possess very powerful crystal balls, as told to journalists with balls made of even stronger stuff. Says an insider: Its Meghans fault!

How has the Globe psychic reporting squad seen so far into the future, with such accuracy that they can quote verbatim from the Royal argument set to take place in several days time? Read the rest


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Kate Hudsons stripper pole, money-hungry Duchess Meghan, and Bruce Springsteens fear of fans, in this weeks dubious tabloids

, 13 2018 . 03:11 ()

Tabloid headlines are from Mars, tabloid stories are from Venus. Thats how far removed are this weeks stories and the headlines that top them.

Scott Peterson murdered 2 other women! screams the National Enquirer cover. No he didnt, says the story inside, despite the spread headline: Scott Peterson a Serial Killer! Convicted wife-killer Peterson is nothing more than a possible suspect in two cold case deaths to which he has the most tenuous of connections.

Jen Garner Recruited by Hollywood Cult! proclaims the Enquirer. No she wasnt, says the Enquirer story. Rather than being recruited, actress Garner is simply the subject of an alleged crush by Scientology chief David Miscavige. Garner herself appears unaware of any interest in her by Scientology, but thats enough for the Enquirer to say: Friends fear shes vulnerable to recruiters. Right.

Money-hungry Meghan turns back on America! yells the Globe cover. Gives up U.S. citizenship to avoid taxes! No, she hasnt, says the story inside. The Duchess of Sussex is still an American citizen, an IRS source reportedly tells the Enquirer. And if she were to relinquish her U.S. citizenship it wouldnt be to avoid paying taxes, but to avoid exposing the sources of her income Prince Harry and the Queen to unwanted scrutiny by Americas IRS. The Palace tells the Enquirer theres no truth to the story. Indeed.

Cindy Crawford and husband Rande Gerber face a billion dollar divorce shocker!" reports the Enquirer. No, they dont. Shes simply been photographed without her wedding ring, for which there could be a hundred rational explanations not involving a marital split. Read the rest


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Noahs Ark found, a Palace coup, and a Hollywood poker scam, in this weeks dubious tabloids

, 07 2018 . 01:10 ()

The British press treat their Royal Family like a soap opera, complete with catfighting sisters-in-law, feuding brothers separating their lives, and an impatient heir to the throne, so its hard to fault the American tabloids for running with the soap opera theme and doing it better.

William Seizes Throne from murderer Charles! screams the Globe cover. No, the Queen hasnt died, and Prince William hasnt launched a Palace coup to kill his father (Charles is branded a murderer by the tabloids for allegedly masterminding the death of Princess Diana.) William reportedly presented the Queen with "a damning new dossier of evidence proving that Charles had ordered Diana killed. Considering all the trouble Diana was causing for the Royal Family after her split from Charles, youd imagine the Queen might have welcomed such initiative on the part of her son. But no. The Globe claims that Her Majesty, believing the first piece of paper set in front of her, ordered Charles cut out of succession to the throne.

Theres only one teeny tiny problem with this soap opera script: The Queen doesnt get to choose her successor. This isnt Saudi Arabia, and Prince William isnt MBS. The Queen is obliged to adhere to The 1701 Act of Settlement, which requires by law that the monarchs successor must be their immediate heir and a Protestant, to boot. As long as hes alive, that successor will be Charles. Sorry to let the facts get in the way of a good fantasy, but full marks to the Globe for imagination. Read the rest


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Quantum mechanics and Kevin Spacey, JFKs five assassins, and proof of reincarnation, in this weeks dubious tabloids

, 29 2018 . 04:33 ()

If Schrodingers cat could read hed feel right at home with this weeks tabloids.Quantum superposition and tabloid supposition seem interchangeable in the way that this weeks tabloid tales might be alive with truth or dead wrong, at one and the same time.

The long-lost Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370 has been Found In Cambodian Jungle! screams the front page of the National Enquirer, which offers a satellite image of the planes wreckage. At the same time, the blurry and indistinct photo appears to show some sort of unidentified objects amid trees, which could equally be the remnants of abandoned housing, or the wreckage of any number of drug-runners planes that may have crashed, or planes shot down amid Cambodian hostilities during the Vietnam War.

As a discerning tabloid reader, Schrodingers cat might conclude that the wreckage of MH370 had been found after four years, and that its wreckage had also not been found. Schrodingers feline might find the same paradox with the Enquirer story that actor Kevin Spacey has been hiding from the law for the past year to avoid being hit by any further allegations of sexual harassment or assault as if Spacey's absence from the public eye would stop police from filing criminal charges or prevent any alleged victims from filing a civil suit.

The fact is that for the past year paparazzi have failed to photograph Spacey, which in the tabloid world means hes been in hiding. But wait! The Enquirer has found him! crows the tabloid. Read the rest


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Adam and Eve were aliens, soul transplants, and an exploding squirrel in this weeks dubious tabloids

, 21 2018 . 21:00 ()

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, lets be grateful for the short memories of the tabloids, which gleefully forget what theyve previously written the moment its inconvenient for them.

Prince Harrys wife Meghan Meets Dianas Secret Daughter! screams the cover of this weeks Globe, describing how Sarah, allegedly conceived in a bizarre fertility test before Prince Charles and Diana wed, met with the latest addition to the Royal Family on the last day of her recent visit to New Zealand.

Yes, this is the same love child who was murdered by Prince Charles on the Greek isle of Crete in May 2016, according to a report the following month in -- where else? -- the Globe.

Fortunately the demise of Dianas mystery child has not curtailed her globe-trotting, and she turned up in the antipodes to warn Meghan: Beware! Charles is a killer! Though clearly not a very good one, if Dianas daughter Sarah is still alive two years after Charles definitively killed her.
The Globe explains her earlier demise as a ruse to save her life!

Such a shame that the Pulitzer Prize for fiction has already been awarded this year.

George Clooneys wife of four years Amal Takes The Twins! proclaims the National Enquirer cover, reporting that the couples "$520 million divorce explodes! The Globe goes old school with its headline Bossy Wife Drives Clooney Loony! and claims He wants out after she bans sausage, cigars, snoring and cussing.

Unsurprisingly, neither party has actually filed for divorce, let alone cited sausages as grounds for the split. Read the rest


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