Sam-VM все записи автора Helen Fielding - Bridget Jones' Diary

"It struck me as pretty ridiculous to be called Mr. Darcy and to stand on you own looking snooty at a party. It's like being called Heathcliff and insisting on spending the entire evening in the garden, shouting 'Cathy' and banging your head against a tree."

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"It is as if the hairs on my head have a life of their own, behaving perfectly sensibly all day, then waiting till I drop off to sleep and starting to run and jump about childishly, saying, 'Now what shall we do?'"

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"Wish had not been born but immaculately burst into being in similar, though no identical, manner to Jesus, then would not have had to have birthday. Sympathize with Jesus in sense of embarrassment he must, and perhaps should, feel over two-millennia-old social imposition of own birthday on large areas of globe."

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"I have been waging a campaign on our street against car burglar alarms which are intolerable and counterproductive since you are more likely to get your car broken into by an angry neighbor trying to silence the burglar alarm than by a burglar."

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"For some reason, the whole business suddenly made me furious with Daniel. It was his responsibility too and he wasn't having to spend ₤8.95 and hide in the toilet trying to wee on a stick."

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"Bugger. Where am I going to find a twenty-three-year-old who will come to dinner with Smug Marrieds on a Saturday night instead of taking contaminated Ecstasy tablets?"

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"It is with great regret that we must announce that so great was Miss Bridget Jones's distress at not bring able to accept the kind invitation of Mr. Mark Darcy that she has offed herself and will therefore, more certainly than ever, now, be unable to accept Mr. Mark Darcy's kind..."

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"The basis of my own addiction [to Pride and Prejudice], I know, is my simply human need for Darcy to get off with Elizabeth. Tom says football guru Nick Hornby said in his book that men's obsession with football is not vicarious. The testosterone-crazed fans do not wish themselves on the pitch, claims Hornby, instead seeing their team as their chosen representatives, rather like parliament. That is precisely my feeling about Darcy and Elizabeth. They are my chosen representatives in the field of shagging, or, rather, courtship. I do not, however, wish to see any actual goals. I would hate to see Darcy and Elizabeth in bed, smoking a cigarette afterwards. That would be unnatural and wrong and I would quickly lose interest."

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"Jude just called and we spent twenty minutes growling, 'Fawaw, that Mr. Darcy.' I love the way he talks, sort of as if he can't be bothered. Ding-dong! Then we had a long discussion about the comparative merits of Mr. Darcy and Mark Darcy, both agreeing that Mr. Darcy was more attractive because he was ruder but that being imaginary was a disadvantage that could not be overlooked."

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"I always hoped I would turn out to be a genius, but I never believed it would actually happen to me—or my left breast." ~Bridget Jones

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