The wind was surprisingly cold, and it whispered a fading song. The melody, so smooth, and the rhythm, so seemingly enticing, kept me staring at the sky of that one February night, and wondering so much of the strange little dim stars that seemed so bright. They winked at me, too frequent for a short span of time, and made me feel I wanted to look at the sky forever. The moon watched me, and from time to time told me, that I was once again ready to cherish my life and finally accept the person who once gave me love I did not come to need and appreciate –until that night. I hated to stop gazing at that one very special sky, but I knew I have much to do.
I saw her differently after that fateful night, and every single second of seeing her made everything else stop, or as they seemed. Many times in the past have I seen her in the corridors, many times have we talked, many times have I mingled with her peers, and she with mine, and many times have I ignored her. I did not know why, but she was not special anymore. I knew from then that she could be again, but confusing as it may have always been, I did not feel that she was, at least at that time. She showed me still though, no matter how unappreciative I have become, that she was there and she could make me feel a life’s happiness only she could give, and only she would care to.
Time came in the past that I almost hated her, though she did not do anything bad at all. I did not want to see her, and more did I not want to work with her. I did not understand why, but I was not comfortable being with her, or having people talk about her with me. I was uneasy, maybe because I used to like her. I showed her, through my actions, that I was, though. But, she was, somehow, telling me that she was hanging on, hoping that I would be the one I was before, the one who told her that he felt something inside, and that he knew he could love her more than how he would ever love any girl in his life.
I liked her, maybe for a very short time, and I wanted her to know what I was feeling. I wanted her to see how I could be more than willing to make her a very special person, in my own way, for I liked her, more than enough for a little time that I knew her. She made my heart beat so much faster when she walked down the aisle, and when she gently led her stray locks off of her face. She made me blush when she talked to me, and when she looked at me in the eye. She was everything to me, and she told me that I may have been hers, too. But, I was wrong for I told her so, and I have hurt her for I realized sometime after, that I was being too fast –too fast to even think whether I was serious or not.
The feeling was gone. And I proved right, when after several months I forgot about what I felt about her before. I felt guilty for some time, but I was able to move on with my life. But, not everyone did. And, some people did not just walk away from what they say, and some people continued to expect a little more from the person they loved.
It was one of my many mistakes. I told a girl I like her, and I eventually made her think that I could have loved her, and made her think that I was still feeling so. She was hurt, that I knew for sure, for I did not tell her that I did not like her anymore, and why.
But she did not let go. She knew, that there was still something to hope for, something to hang on for. I did not understand why, but I knew I would be grateful that she did. That she saw in me what I did not see in myself. She knew I could be loved, and that for a reason or two I should love, too.
By the time I felt I was falling for another girl, thoughts of her filled me, and surprisingly, after several months since the time I thought I was wrong, I could not get her out of my head, again. I kept thinking about her, and her face was clear in my mind. I saw how she smiled, and laughed, and gently led her stray locks away from her face. I was confused, for I did not want to bring all the memories back, but I was glad when I did. I knew from then that I may have been right for some point, that I may have loved her, and that even though I tried to tell myself that I have moved on, she was forever in me, and no one could take her place inside my heart. I knew from then that I was feeling once again what I thought was gone, and that she hoped for something because she knew there was something to really hope for.
I loved her, and on one very special evening sky, I realized that I almost lost the girl whom I would love to spend time with always, and would love to love. And, I must tell her.
How sorry I was to let her go.
