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Создан: 31.07.2006
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Temptation is fun…giving in is better

Интересное видео))

Вторник, 05 Февраля 2008 г. 01:55 + в цитатник

Live simply

Среда, 02 Января 2008 г. 12:32 + в цитатник
A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired. During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives. Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups -porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate.

When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said:
"Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. The cup that you're drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each others cups.

Now consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life. The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality of life you have. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us.
God makes the hot chocolate, man chooses the cups. The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything that they have.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. And enjoy your hot chocolate!

Без заголовка

Понедельник, 17 Сентября 2007 г. 07:36 + в цитатник
В колонках играет - Елена Ваенга, Оловянное сердце...
Настроение сейчас - потерянное

Ни у одного мужчины не было так мало времени, и ни один не дал мне так много.



Он заражал оптимизмом.



Он подарил мне такое чувство, когда кажется, что через минуту ты сойдешь с ума от желания. И при этом ты знаешь, что желание твое исполнится.

При нем мне всегда хотелось раздеться еще больше.



Он никогда не искал эрогенных зон на моем теле. Он считал, что женщина является эрогенной зоной вся в целостности, а в этой целостности самый эрогенный участок – мозг.



Он давал мне все, и ничего не хотел взамен… Он просто существует и дает ей уверенность, что так будет вечно. Вот только боишься, что вечность эта – без всяких стандартных обетов - будет короткой.

I owe my mother

Воскресенье, 17 Июня 2007 г. 21:08 + в цитатник
 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished 

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to  the store with me."

 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
 "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
 "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: - My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Forgiving Your Enemies

Воскресенье, 17 Июня 2007 г. 21:02 + в цитатник

Toward the end of the service, the Minister asked, "How many of

you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

"Mrs. Jones? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," she replied.

"Oh, Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: "I outlived the bitches."

skinni dipping)

Воскресенье, 17 Июня 2007 г. 20:51 + в цитатник

An old man in Louisiana owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice--picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Some of us older guys can still think fast...

naughty joke

Воскресенье, 17 Июня 2007 г. 20:45 + в цитатник

Karen lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter is constantly calling her and urging her
to get back into the world. Finally, Karen says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.

Her daughter immediately replies: "Mom! I have someone for you to meet.
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills.

Their first night there, she undresses as he does. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, he in his birthday suit. 
Looking at her he asks: "Why the black panties?"

She replies: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning. 

" He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She's standing there with the black panties on, and he is in his birthday suit ... Except that he is wearing a black condom. 

She looks at him and asks: "What's with this ... A black condom?" 
He replies: "I want to offer my deepest condolences."

Tuesday humor)

Воскресенье, 17 Июня 2007 г. 20:36 + в цитатник
3-year-old Reese:
"Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys."
One particular four-year-old prayed,
"And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied,
"Because people are sleeping."
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
"Ryan, you be Jesus!"
A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God throw him back down?"
A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
"Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"


this is bad day..

Воскресенье, 17 Июня 2007 г. 20:28 + в цитатник

Thought you would get a chuckle out of this one!

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Воскресенье, 17 Июня 2007 г. 20:20 + в цитатник
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday inKenya after graduating from Northwestern University.  On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant
standing with one leg raised in the air.  The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very
carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply
embedded in it.  As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.  The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather
curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.  Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.  Eventually the
elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.  Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.  As they approached
the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing.  The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put
it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.  Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure.  He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.  The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and
slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

This is for those of you who have nothing to do......

Воскресенье, 17 Июня 2007 г. 20:03 + в цитатник

 How smart is Your Right Foot ? ?

Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon............ This
will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again
to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It's
preprogrammed in your brain!

1. While sitting where you are at your desk in front of your
computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with
your right Hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so!!! And there's nothing you can do about it!


Пятница, 18 Мая 2007 г. 10:28 + в цитатник
An   elderly woman walked into the Bank of one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She p laced her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000". The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?"

The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square."

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?"

"Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square."

"Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o'clock  tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness."
 < "No problem", said the president of the Bank confidently.  

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course", said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure."

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied,
   "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of !" 

When it's okay to use the F word

Вторник, 01 Мая 2007 г. 11:36 + в цитатник

lets see.. (480x360, 25Kb)


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ole blue

Вторник, 01 Мая 2007 г. 10:32 + в цитатник

A young farm lad from North Iowa goes off to college, but about 1/3
of the way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money his parents gave him.

Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you won't
believe the wonders that modern education is coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here at Iowa State that will teach our dog
Ole Blue how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000" the boy says. "I'll get him
into the course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000. About 2/3
way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father

"So how's Ole Blue doing, son," his father asks. ;
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just
won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program that
they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"
"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get
him in that program?"

Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." Hi s fath er sends the money.

The boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will
find out that the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog. 

When he gets home at the end of the semester, his father is all
"Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning,
just before we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room

kicked back in the recliner , reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually
does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still
messing' around with that little redhead who lives in town?' 

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a b#!@!! before he
talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did , Dad!"

"That's my boy!"
(The kid went on to be a successful lawyer )  

How often do you say, "Not my problem?"

Вторник, 01 Мая 2007 г. 09:26 + в цитатник
A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.

"Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words
several times before the patient's eyes opened.  Heavily sedated because
of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine
standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand.  The Marine
wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing
a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed.
All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted
ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and
strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away
and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the
Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital -
the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members
exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.  Now
and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said
nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.  Along
towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless
hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what
she had to do, he waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the
Marine interrupted her. "Who was that man?" he asked. The nurse was
startled, "He was your father," she answered. "No, he wasn't," the
Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."

"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"

"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed
his son, and his son just wasn't here.  I came to see someone else, but
when I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his
son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed."

The next time someone needs you ... just be there.  Stay.

Всем девушкам желаю!

Понедельник, 19 Марта 2007 г. 13:23 + в цитатник
Успехов - в pаботе! Погоды - пpиятной!
Любви - чистой, нежной и неоднокpатной!
Детей - pазнополых! Пальто - по фигуpе!
Соседей в купе - что не пьют и не куpят!
Волос - шелковистых! Зубов - белоснежных!
Мужей - состоятельных! Спонсоpов - нежных!
Любовников - умных! Супpугов - в законе!
Свекpовей - живущих в дpугом pегионе!
Hевесток - покоpных! Таpелок - помытых!
Мужей - не хpапящих и на ночь побpитых!
Коллег - не зацикленных только на бабах!
Вpагов - слабосильных! Вpагов - сильно слабых!
Обедов - в постель! Впечатлений - поляpных!
И... этих... ну... в общем, того... pегуляpных!
Чулок - без затяжек! Hи дня - без обновки!
Мужей - в очень длительной командиpовке!
Любви - обжигающей, как в сеpиале!
По пять сеpиалов - на каждом канале!
Романов - куpоpтных! Поpывов - безумных!
Соседей и снизу и свеpху - бесшумных!
Поездок - не на огоpод, а на моpе!
Пиpоженок - вкусных, но чтоб без калоpий!
Машин - иностpанных, но pуль чтобы слева!
Духов - от Диоpа! Цветов - ежедневно!
Hамеpений - pазных, но лучше сеpьезных!
Жилищ - пятикомнатных и пятизвездных!
Заслуженный отпуск - на пляжах и волнах!
Тpоллейбусов - вовpемя и неполных!
Билетов в автобусах - только счастливых!
Дpузей - не занудных! Подpуг - не pевнивых!
Мужей - состоятельных! (Как говоpится,
Раз сильно желаешь - не гpех повтоpиться!)
Любви - чтобы воспламенялась, как поpох!
(Когда это важно, не жалко повтоpов)
Стиpальных машин, пылесосов, комбайнов -
И функциональных, и стильных дизайнов.
Стpастей - изнуpительных! Тpудностей - кpатких!
Бpильянтов - не меньше, чем 40 каpатов!
Сантехники - импоpтной! Родов - без боли!
Пpоблем - никаких! Шифоньеpов - без моли!
И... кажется... что-то еще мы забыли...
А-а-а, ясно!
И сеpвантов - без пыли!!!
И сбыться - мечте стать великой аpтисткой!!!
И Женского Дня - в год хотя бы pаз 300!!!

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Черный Хлеб

Понедельник, 19 Марта 2007 г. 13:06 + в цитатник
Хлеб всегда считался самой важной едой на Руси, что привело к огромному разнообразию этого продукта. Черный хлеб - необходимое дополнение к супам и мясным блюдам. Не даром говорят: Хлеб - всему голова. Способ приготовления: Смешайте ржаную и пшеничную муку. В большой миске смешайте 2 1/3 стак. мучной смеси, сахар, соль, хлопья, тмин, кофе, луковый порошок, фенхель и дрожжи. В кастрюльке смешайте воду, уксус, патоку, шоколад и масло и разогрейте на слабом огне. Постепенно влейте в миску и взбейте миксером до однородной массы. Добавьте еще муки для получения мягкого теста. Выложите тесто на поверхность, посыпанную мукой. Накройте тесто миской и оставьте на 15 минут. Затем вымесите тесто, пока не станет гладким и эластичным. Положите тесто в миску, смазанную маслом, поверните, чтобы "помаслить" верх; накройте и поставьте в теплое место подняться на 1 час. Разделите тесто на 2 части, сформуйте буханки и положите на противень. Смажьте взбитым яйцом. Выпекайте в разогретой до 375 Ф духовке до золотистого цвета (около часа). Можно проверить, постучав по дну, звук должен быть гулким и легким. ________________________________________ Ингредиенты: 4 ст ржаной муки 3 ст простой муки 1 чл сахара 2 чл соли 2 ст хлопьев из отрубей 2 стл тмина 2 чл гранулированного кофе 2 ст лукового порошка 1/2 чл фенхеля 2 упк сухих дрожжей 2 1/2 ст воды 1/4 ст уксуса 1/4 ст патоки 30 г горького шоколода 1/4ст масла 1/2 ст холодной воды 1 чл крахмала


Понедельник, 19 Марта 2007 г. 13:06 + в цитатник

Тонкая лепешка из жидкого кислого теста, испеченная на сковороде. Их едят горячими или холодными и подают с различными сладкими и несладкими начинками. Блины разного типа, разной консистенции и из разной муки известны почти у всех народов. Блины на дрожжах - распространенное блюдо у славян.

Блинное тесто обычно состоит из муки, обычно пшеничной или гречневой, а также жидкого ингредиента - молока, воды или эля, хотя в США блины иногда делают из кукурузной муки, а в европейских странах, например, в Германии и Польше, делают картофельные блины. В некоторых странах, например, в Египте, Канаде и США в блины кладут разрыхлитель, например, соду или дрожжи.

Известны русские блины из пшеничной, ячной, овсяной, гречневой муки и из их смеси (лучше 2/3 пшеничной, 1/3 гречневой). Их выпекают только на чугунных сковородах (без ручек). Перед выпечкой каждого блина сковороду смазывают тонким слоем растительного масла при помощи половинки луковицы.
Выпекают блин с обеих сторон в течение 2 минут.

Существует разновидность - блины с припеком: на поверхность их тонким слоем наносится пастообразный продукт (творог, мясной или рыбный фарш) и быстро припекается к блину на разогретой сковороде (обычно же блины после изготовления сдабриваются маслом или сметаной или их едят с соленой (копченой) рыбой, икрой).



Блинная статистика

Самый старый рецепт блинов на английском языке датируется XV веком.

Мировой рекорд на самый большой блин поставили в Рочдейле в 1994 году. Блин был 15 метров в диаметре, весил три тонны и два миллиона калорий.

Самый большой в мире блинный завтрак проводится ежегодно в Спрингфилде, Массачусетс, США. Сотни добровольцев принимают участие в мероприятии, и с 1999 года за это время подали более 71,233 порций более 40,000 людей. Если все эти блины составить в стопку, она будет выше 3.5 км.

Ральф Лау из Лейпцига поставил мировой рекорд по подбрасыванию блинов в воздух - за две минуты он подбросил его 416 раз. А Майк Куцакре бежал марафон, постоянно подбрасывая блин, в течение 3 часов, 2 минут и 27 секунд.



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