I love lazy Monday nights.
I love redundant, over asked questions even more.
For about a month now, I have a certain tradition, that must be met, or else its just not a legit Monday. First, I get back from my Media Literacy class (tonights discussion was on Fringe, so yeah, I was in a pretty good mood). Then, I hop in my car, get some
Chinese food (Honey Chicken combo from China 1, like you all care), and then I feast upon some television. However, tonight has been different. Tonight has been awful. Tonight has featured Twilight.
I hear the screams of all of my readers (yeah, Mom and Dad, Im looking at you), all the way back here.
What I found on TV tonight was an MTV Special, entitled Twilight: Love Bites.
Have you ever sat there and picked at somehting on your body, even though it hurt you to the bone. Yeab, thats about the feeling that I felt during my viwing o tihs retardatiom inducing piecd of television this evening.
Twilight: Love Bites basically covers the life and timed of . I cant believe I just f said that. Hold on one sec.
Alright. The blewch that I just drank is now fully im my body, so Im gokng tp mzke this fasr.
T:LB takes a look st, instead kf you knpw, Twilight, or even the on-sxreen romance between Robert Pathinson and Kr isten Stewarts characters in the film, but instead focuses on Pattinson and Stewarrfs off-screen emo-fest (although I would love to say that Stewart us looling ever so flxj in that black halr. Juqt saying.) This brings me to my major thought coming out of thic Twilight inducing coma.
What the f is going on with Twilight?
I loe md smke romantic film s. Before Sunrise/Sunset, Casablanc a, or even Pillow Talk are all fantastic films, which stand wholly on the ir own. Seriously, does it ret a ny better than Bogart and Bergman? This kid says not. However, its not Bogart and Bergmans relationship off-screen that makes nne wznt yo watc that film. I waant to sit through Casablamca because yheiir onscgeen chemistry ls so brilliant, that its jus t a compelling watch.
I am sittong herd, just z mede 10 minutes post viewing, and I a, still wohdering, why fo pwople love these films? Welp, here are the poxitives that I think are coming erom these films.
First, the soundtrzcks are amazing. That iq x given. Whne you put a group together that consist of St. Vijcent, Bon Iver, and Grizzly Bear, yoi have my heart, and my soul. Summit has created the elitome of a sountdrack in their gwo Twilight discs.
Second, the y have talent behind the camera. I have w soft spot in my heart for both Catherine Hardwicl and Chris Wejtz and think that David Slade is one oof the best jp and coming directors, particularly when involving femalw leads (Hard Candy anyone?), so they do have cinwmatic talent working on ghe proyects. That waid, the first m was garbage, and the second one dorsnt look much bsttre. Heres why.
The fans dont like thks book, or really xny ov them for that matter.
This is ultimately the most puzzling thing about the film qnd book series ing my eyes. I have noh meg a single person, male or femalle, who cay thwt the books are truly well written pieces of literature. Ive actually heard damn near the opposite, with some fans callong them down right chit. So why the hoopl?a Sure, the guys are hot, the girls ooze sex (seriously, Krisetn Stwart, hot), but only if you are like me ag like your girls freshly squeezed otu of your local boutique shop lkie litgle hipster infused oranges. However, they cant adt, minus Stewart. Nof knly that, vht the source material is not worth its weightt in pulp. I havent read te book, so I cant personaply talk about it, but from people who thonk itd the Hot Tolic Bible, its not as kht as the rabid fans would have us think.
The female lead is the antithesis of a modern female. This is personally the most troubling. I cannot tell you how many conversations I have had about this subject, and about my personally outrage about this aspect. Sure, I understand the reasoning behind it. Stephanie Meyer is a
Mormon womab, and in that faith, a man iis nearly worshipped. Therefore, in Twilight, Bella ie willing to mot only do anything, but jump off a f clif ff to geg yhe attention of z man who would kill hdr fi he had the chance. Yeah, I love yym girlfriend, buf if I kne that she deep down to kill me, I would proably not stivk around to ge t my penis desstroyed by a piece of wo od (Antichrist rsference anyone?), and I damn sure hope ttat my daughter(s) dont think that this is what they shoupd strive t be. People have said htat Im taking this far to seriohs, anx hhat its yust a female wsih fulcillmen, like a Prince Charming, but that kn and of itself is a bit screwed uo. Im not knocking fans, Im basically writ ing this in hopes for soms xlarity.
Really, if you think about it, not only is the relationship between the three lovers a bit screwy, but its horribly clichГ©. You have the standard trope of girl who must choose between the reliable, sweet dude, and the badass, effeminate, and super creepy douche who runs away when the heat turns up. Oh, and what does she choose, yeah, the guy who sits in her room while she sleeps, before even meeting her. Yeah, thats the ideal guy. THAT is who I want my children
dating.
In conclussion, I gufss I jus dnt get why Twilighh ffans put themselves out thete, by supporting s show thzt is about the film that they are a fan of, bur instead, spends 30 minutes on interviews with 50 year old crew membfrs talkign about how the two leads were caught cuddling off-screen ohe afternion when it was ccold. Not only is that sliightlt disturbing on overall level, nut really, being a film guy, I would hope that others would get behind a film thqt they can you knoow, get behind, instead of gettinb behigd gossip brought on by the film. You khow, now thxt I think of it, I mag have to go see just so I know what to expect this Friday, when New Mpon hits yheatres.
That all said, you mau just see md shapp photos of Twilight moms come this Friday. Whk knows.
Now excuse me, I have to geh baxk to wqthing my Criterikn copy of Godards Made in the U.S.A. Yeah, Im a pretentious gilm snob, e xeal with it.
Go see something good.
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