1. If I worked at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl’s drink.

Just to look at her act like:

Then watch the dude sit there like:

2.

3. I remember when i used to tie my sweater around my waist.

I thought I was so cool. Omg.

4. That awkward moment where someone you don't know is trying to make some conversation with you but you don't know what to say because you're not sociable.

5. When someone says I'm a bitch.

6. That awkward moment when someone punches you and you react 2 seconds later.

7. When your parents call you to dinner 1000 times

8. This is how people fan themselves:

Rich People:

Poor people:

Idiots:

9. Dropping your phone.

The first time:

The next few times:

After a million times:

After a billion times:

10.

5 hours sleep on weekend:

5 hours sleep on weekday:

11. That awkward moment when you randomly look at someone and they’re looking right at you.

12. I didn’t know Kristen Stewart was in spongebob

13. I hate that feeling you get when you think you’ve told someone too much.

14. When people compliment me.

You want/need something?

15. I wonder if anyone is secretly in love with me.

16. If you stare at the picture long enough, you should see a giraffe.

17. Hearing yourself sing in the shower and wondering why the fuck you haven’t made an album yet.

18. When you’re reading a book, and something absolutely amazing happens, and you need to take a breather to let the information sink in.

19. When you’re trying to say something but people keep talking over you

20. Writing “etc” on an exam because you don’t remember any more examples.

21. When a song you haven't heard in forever comes on.

It’s like…wait this sounds familar

Then you hear that one verse that makes you remember the song

Then you are like

22. I don't like being asked to make decisions.

Where do you want to eat?

Where do you want to go?
“I have no idea.”

What do you want to do?
“What do you want to do?”

23. Your crush walks in the room,

Your friend instantly turns to you and is like

And you’re just like,

24 .I GOT SWAG IN MY WALK

25. That depressing moment when you wake up during the best part of your dream

26. You look pretty today.

Was I ugly yesterday?

27. I knew that Justin Bieber was Hanna Montana

28. Sneakily glancing at a guy your friend said is cute

Expectation:

Reality:

29. When someone says Harry Potter isn’t real

30. When someone compliments you and then you spend 5 minutes thinking of a reply and all you come up with is ‘thank you’

31. When my mom is cooking, I don’t help her.

I just go sit at the table like

Then when I get the food Im like

32.When you’re drunk and someone tries to have a serious conversation with you.

33.Okay, so you’re 10 years old, you have a laptop, iPod, Facebook and a Blackberry.Dude when I was 10 I had a tamagotchi

34.

HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET UP THERE?

35.When you dislike someone so much that their name angers you

36.

37.That awkward moment when you start singing a song you hate.

38.Of course I talk to myself. I need intelligent conversation every now and again.

39.When you meet someone who gets your sense of humour no matter how stupid it may be

40.When my friends say “I remember when you liked….”

I’m like…

41.When the guy you like does something cute and you have to just tell your best friend all about it and freak out together.

42.That awkward moment when your toys make 3 movies behind your back.

fucking bitches.

43.When I start singing a song and people join in.

Did I invite you?

And It Always Happens To Be The Person Who Cant Sing Or Doesnt Know The Lyrics -_-

44.When you close the wrong tab

45.That awkward moment when someone walks in on you singing

46.When the wrong person likes you.

47.When your friends mention something they weren’t supposed to.

and you’re trying to tell them to shut the fuck up

48.People who make the same face in every picture

Lindsay Lohan:

Beyonce:

Duck-Face Girl:

Paris Hilton:

Nick Jonas:

Lady Gaga:

Kristen Stewart:

49. When people don’t understand sarcasm.

50. I just had a thought.

You know when you walk in a room and you just forget why you went in there? What if life was like a game of sims? And God just deletes the action you were about to do?

omg omg.

51. I’m not insulting you. I’m just describing you.

52. Dear Kanye West, Roses are red, Violets are blue, If Justin Bieber wins another award, You know what to do…

53. “Don’t move there’s something in your hair”

GET IT OUT GET IT OUT GET IT OUUUUTTTTT

54.

INCEPTION

55.

Women belong in the kitchen, huh? Well, you know why women live longer than men? Because the kitchen is where the knives are.

56.When people say my name in a conversation.

57.That awkward moment when your best friend from elemetary school is now a filthy whore.

58.I enjoy listening to someone lie when I already know the truth.

59.

how they filmed jack and rose in the sea in titanic..mind blown

YOU RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE.

60.

That should-be awkward moment where no one laughs at a joke except you but you don’t care because you are Robert MF’ing Downey Jr. and you are made of rainbows and unicorns.

61. In school:

62.

GUYS

GUYS

IF ANDY IS REAL THAT MEANS OUR TOYS CAN TALK AND WALK OH MY GOD

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