"Mary had a little sheep,
With the sheep she went to sleep.
The sheep turned out to be a ram,
And Mary had a little lamb."
"It's like sitting on the back of an elephant with an iron trying to get out the wrinkles."
"Whether it's fine artists, musical artists, or ultra right wing bull shit artists, we all need the right to freedom of expression"
"Younger bands are into jerking off and we're into fucking. That's all there is to it!"
"Good night, everyone- and remember- in this world, if you wanna get ahead, you gotta learn to give a little!"
After firing Megadeath as their opening act, Steven Tyler was quoted as saying: "We would like to help you out. Which way did you come in?"
But "The History of Rock 'n' Roll" still stands as an important document of one of the world's most exciting and important musical idioms. "Rock 'n' roll is sexuality personified," says Aerosmith's Steven Tyler at the end of the series' final episode. "It is attitude. It is all the things that your parents told you not to do. It's the freedom to express yourself. It's being alive. It expresses the times. It's a magazine, a newspaper that tells the truth. If you listen to rap today, it's all about the truth. And that's what we all want. Just give me a little truth."
"Confuscious says that crowded elevators smell differently to midgets!!"
"People used to ask me, 'What do you reckon you'll be doing when you're 40?', and I told 'em 'rocking out and kicking ass!' Now it's 'What do you reckon you'll be doing at 60?' and the answer's exactly the same. I'm always going to love Jimi Hendrix - 'Purple Haze' will still give me a hard-on when I'm hooked up to a life-support machine. Hey, even when I'm dead, they're going to have a hell of a job nailing the coffin lid down."
(On the beginning's of Aerosmith) "I'd been playing in bands for something like seven years at this point. And we were always trying to get ahead, trying to rehearse and sound professional. But then I go to see the Jam Band (Joe Perry and Tom Hamilton's band before Aerosmith), and it blew me away. I wasn't expecting too much. Then they got up there and did 'Rattlesnake Shake' by Fleetwood Mac. And I said to myself, 'That's it. These guys suck - they can't even tune their instruments. But they have a great groove going that's better than any fuck I've ever had.' I just knew that if I could show them a little of what I knew, with the looseness and balls that they showed up there, then we'd really have something."
"The thing that really stands out in my mind about Aerosmith is that we're still fucking together. Whatever we've done together and whatever we've become, is second to the fact that we're still doing this. I'm still in love with these guys. I'm not saying it didn't take a lot of work because drugs will take you and pull you apart. But it wasn't anything we shot up or put up our noses that gave us the edge - it was Joe Perry's fuck-all, being as abrasive as that motherfucker is, and Brad Whitford's ear, Tom Hamilton's well-aimed simplicity and Joey Kramer's solid bed of backbeat. Keeping this band together has been the hardest and the happiest thing we've done in our lives. It's been a long time coming. So for all the other stuff that comes from Aerosmith, the most amazing thing is that we're still playing and still having some fucking fun."
"You have no idea how much it costs to look this cheap."
"We haven't quite been able to put together the deal for the shuttle -- we want to be the lounge act. Be the first band to play weightless!"
"I just want Aerosmith to always give me a hard-on, that's all I ever ask for, for it to be the most special thing in my life. As long as I look at it through those eyes, it will always be that way."
"You know...sometimes I'll be looking out at the audience and I'll be in the middle of a song, and I'll just stop dead. I'll look out at them, and think what is this... There's one thing that keeps me doing it though, I really love it, I believe in it."
(On the Jagger comparisons, when asked what he had to say to people who said he looked like Jagger) "I say jeans. Well what can I say? People who think I look like Jagger never met him. These little innuendos about me by people sitting thirty rows back, and all they see is that blond cat next to me as Brian Jones. And Joe as Keith Richards. And I'm supposed to be Jagger, running around. Shit. Jagger makes up for his whole group. He never stops prancing and dancing while the rest of them just stand there." Creem 9/75
(On Amazing) "The more I look back at my life and the things that we did, the more I think there's got to have been a plan for this band, either by a higher power or an angel of mercy. I mean, that's how I like to look at it now, because for all the shit I did, someone threw me a rope. I look back on the times I OD-ed, didn't have any money left in the bank, was let go off CBS because the band sucked, couldn't even get my shit together to change my clothes, but look at us now. When you actually look back, it's pretty damn amazing, hence the song." VOX 4/93
"Hey dude - this tricolor fusilli is fucking outrageous!"
"Even in the old days, we'd make an effort. When I'd go out to score on Eighth Avenue, I'd get my junk and a chocalate doughnut. But I'd always also pick up one of those pita-pocket health food sandwiches. You know, something really good for me."
(On girls) "We can look, but we'd better not touch."
"I'd met Mick Jagger years ago when he invited me to his house in Malibu, but back then I was too gagged to my fucking ear lobes in coke and Tuinals. I was barely in shape to knock on the door. But this time it was very beautiful. The limo pulled into his tent in the tent city, and he had a crib there for his daughter. We hugged, and I told Mick, 'You don't know what it means to be standing here with you after all these years. It's amazing, because I woke up this morning and I got my weekly report from the office, and right next to Aerosmith at Number Two in airplay R&R is the Stones album at Number One.' Of course, deep inside I'm thinking to myself, 'And watch out, because we're going to knock you right off the charts, motherfucker.' "
"When I let the kid out, he stays out. That's why I'm in rock n' roll."
"Getting to meet people is always alot of fun. There are times when you're a little tired or just not in the mood to hang out. But what I've found is that people understand your feelings. They're cool."
"Its cool when I meet young guys from other bands who say how much an impact Aerosmith has had on them and how much they like me.I'll give 'em that 'C'mon you dont mean that' routine, but in my heart I know where they're coming from. If I had grown up in the '70's and was into rock n' roll, I know the kind of impact Aerosmith would have had on me. I know the kind of impact that Elvis and Jagger had on me, and while I'm not comparing myself to those guys, I can relate."
"A lot of bands have managed to borrow parts of our style for their music. Thats fine with me,because we've borrowed from people like the Stones. But we dont want to sound like we're copying anyone, including ourselves, so we're moving on."
"What makes me feel good is that after all these years, the ideas that Joe Perry came up with worked and all the kids loved it."
"We were the guys you could actually see. It wasn't like Zeppelin was out there on the road in America all the time, the Stones weren't always coming to your town. We were America's band-the garage band that made it real big, the ultimate party band."
"Hey, man, if anyone ever tried to smack any of the 5 of us,they'd be shot."
"We were one of the biggest bands in the world.No one tried to tell us ANYTHING. And if they did- they were history."
"When people think of Aerosmith, I want them to think of the music we've made and nothing else. I don't want the resposibility of some young kid trying to live his life like I did back in the '70's."
"I wait till the last minute to do lyrics. I seem to work best that way- bummed out and under pressure. I often don't do my homework. But I'll always walk that extra mile."
(Steven's advice for parents) "Teach your children well and hope they have good sense."
(what he'd like to be reincarnated as) "An osprey or an eagle, they're so endangered."
(explaining the secret of the universe) "Sex:It certainly makes you one with each other for that brief fleeting moment...those X and Y chromey- somes. And also I think it's learning how to get out of your own way. Learn to get out of your own way and shit flows through you."
"Kurt Cobain, when he did his videos, you look into his eyes and he couldn't even face the camera; he was in pain and I'm angry about Kurt. This guy didnt have to die."
(describing himself in 3 words) "Late, great, debate."
"Its hard for me when they call me things like the Godfather of Hard Rock. Its almost like Im really shy and don't wanna hear it. I'm honored, but I get kinda embarrased. I can't act like I'm a Godfather because I dont think I am one mentally. When they say that to me, I say'Wheres the hubbub? I'm just a f#?kin asshole like you are.' "
"It's like, have you got the balls? If you were waiting for an elevator and the door opened up and there was 2 people in there f#?king-would you get on?" "Nothing feels better than somebody telling you the truth. Because what have you got to lose? 'Youre an asshole.' No I'm not, that's how I feel."
"We're in this on a day-to-day basis. There's not a certain point in the future where we say, 'Well here we are, there's $X million in the bank. We've done it,lets pack it in now.' It's a case of the old thing- its not the destination, its the journey." "Aerosmith-one of the 10 best bands today? Yeah definitely."
"If it shakes you in the right places, it's Gods gift."
"My get up and go has not got up and went."
(about the days of drugs and excess). "I used to think that I spent so much time getting high on stage in the 70's and 80's that I didn't take advantage of the ladies...I was in some corner somewhere. That's a regret, it's not much."
"All you're doing is chasing the first buzz. It's like youre chasing that head, that high, and you can never quite get to the same place as you did the first time. And the more you give it, the more it strangles you."
"What goes on in your head? How can you go home and write records? You're full of shit."
"But, you know, if Joe Perry can get straight, then, REALLY, anybody can."
"I remember the first guy who offered me a joint in the bathroom. I said 'No, man, I've got enough problems.'"
"Ratt and Motley Crue copied all my clothes and everything and it's like me saying 'Well I'm gonna go out in my dungarees, what I have on now, and play. ' F#?k that! I started something great, I'm proud of it,I love it and if they copy me that's all right, but I'm still gonna wear it, because I wear it better."
"If you cross a river enough and get soaking wet enough times, pretty soon you learn how to step on the rocks. And somtimes there's someone folowin' ya and ya gotta loosin' the stones."
On the basis of songs- "It's like a cage of ribs, it don't look like much, but it holds all the stuff in."
"If you don't got what Joplin had, then the only roots ya got are in your hair"
On people who complain- "It's like a baby who kicks his feet till they bleed. He finds out people don't give a damn and all you get out of it is a busted foot" It is almost like the world was asphalt and we were these fucking weeds. No matter what they put over us, asphalt or metal sealant, we grew right through it."
"There's nothing like an Aerosmith Groove."
"If you have a candle, the light won't glow any dimmer if I light yours off of mine."
"Well she's coming at her daughter's like from the wrong direction. How can you fight young lust? a) she's young, and b) she has lust. That's why people masturbate. I mean, what do you want to be telling your child? That lust is bad? Get outta here. That's the Holy Wars. (about Lady Tipper Gore opposing to her daughter listening to songs like Young Lust)"
"Men are too busy talking about how big there dicks are. If men bled, tampons would be free."
"Rock 'n' Roll is about a backbeat you can fuck to, but it's also about saying 'fuck you' to people who don't get off on freedom. We're protecting our right to rock. "
"The secret to enlightenment is to lighten up. Weather you are talking rock or women, the fever's what its about. The band has the fever. We're all here because we're not all there."
"Now that I am sober, I deserve to get laid."
"If our fans are out there driving down that information superhighway, then we want to be playing at the truck stop. This is the future-so lets get it going."
"You have to grab hold. Sometimes it's your crotch, sometimes its reality. I'm still screaming about what's inside me but now a lot of that relates to what' happening in the world outside. Everybody likes to blame shit on everybody else so they don't have to own up to it themselves."
"Keep your nose to the grindstone, it sharpens your booger."
"I don't buy into this idea that you're not supposed to rock 'n' roll after a certain date. I'm looking to be the lounge act on the space shuttle so I can sing "Walk This Way" on the ceiling."
"The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those that got there first."
"But most of all, the train that kept rollin all night long of rock n' roll you cannot kill. It will live forever."
"Just saying no to drugs is like just saying cheer up to a manic depressant."
"I love every bone in a woman's body, especially mine."
"Everything I've every loved was immoral, illegal, or grew hair on your palms."
"You got the right key baby, but the wrong keyhole."
"BAAAAACK in the saddle again."
"F.I.N.E. - Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional."
"The buzz that you be gettin from the crack don't last/I'd rather be O.D.'in on the crack of her ass."
"Love's 4 letters aint' in my dictionary."
"I'm looking to be the lounge act on the space shuttle so I can sing "Walk this Way" on the ceiling."
"To be creative you gotta be a child. You gotta be true to the crib."
"I'm gonna give'em what they came for."
"If "to climax" is what the term means, to CLIMAX, why don't we do it all the time? We should be doing it 3-4 times a day. It's not about stupid and nasty, it's what we should all be doing."
"It's as clear as the balls on a tall dog."
"The experience of being a teenager is like taking a test before you've been given the lessons. And being middle-aged is cool because you've already seen the answers. And being old is like watchin' reruns on TV - it's frustrating because you can't change the channel anymore."
"I live for CAN-ing other people's can'ts."
"Talk to yourself and you'll hear what you want to know."
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most!"
"Here lies Tyler, the Demon of Screamin', Who never woke up from the Dream he was Dreamin' Until oneday he drank some magic potion--Now all that's left is Sweet Emotion. (what ST wants on his Tombstone)"
"Remember in this world, if you wanna get ahead, you gotta learn to give a little."
"Sex, drugs, and rock n' roll! Take out the drugs and there's a lot more room for the other two."
"Remember the light at the end of the tunnel, may be you!"
"Slash looks like Joe, Joe looks like Keith, I look like Mick, Mick looks like a black man, black man invented the blues, blues had a baby and names it rock n' roll, and dude looks like a lady an all that other stuff."
"We paved the road, so to speak. So why not fucking get in our car and drive down it again?"
""Herd Sheep"...What ST replied when asked what he would do if he was the last person on earth."
"I heard that your brain stops growing when you start doing drugs. Let's see, I guess that makes me 19."
"Shit fire and save matches, fuck an duck and see what hatches."
"Good nite god bless and dont forget to wear a rubber."
"Something tells me we ain't in Kansas anymore Yodo Yah ah ah ah ah !!!"
"People thought we were all washed up. But we came back to KICK SOME ASS."
"It's not the COUGH that carries you OFF. . . . It's the COFFIN they carry you OFF IN."
"Well, I took a perfect pill this morning, Bruce. Along with a suck pill"
"I'm fuckin' flyin' baby!"
"Moist. That's a *good* word. I like that word!"
"It's R&B. It's those 2s and 4s. It's like fucking...you know? You can really *fuck* to a good Aerosmith song!"
"F-C-K. The only thing its missing is U."
"We weren't too ambitious when we started out. We just wanted to be the biggest thing that ever walked the planet, the greatest rock band that ever was. We just wanted everything. We just wanted it ALL!"
"(During the song Stop Messin' at a concert) "On the guitar, musical alchemist, playing and singin his ass off, Mr. Joe Fucking Perry!"
"The light at the end of the tunnel . . . IS YOU!!!" (at Woodstock, '94)
"Good evening . . . thanks for inviting us to your party . . .I hope you don't mind if we KICK YOUR ASS with some rock 'n' roll!!" (at the beginning of shows)
"Do you want the old shit, or the new shit? (taking requests, about halfway through shows)"
"(When asked what's the best revenge he has ever gotten, Steven responded,) "Our comeback."
"(on the secret to a successful partnership)Having a direct, positive response to our music is a big perk- it keeps it exciting for us. And we've come to realize that we're musicians first and foremost, and we still love playing together night after night-Steven Tyler, Seventeen-April, 1994"
"I guess I am a feminist of sorts, I love woman so much, and I celebrate the female side in me because I appreciate it so much - Steven Tyler, Seventeen-April 1994"
"I put so sex in my lyrics because I'm always thinking about it, it's always on my mind - Steven Tyler, Globe and Mail, Febuary 1997"
"If we hang ourselves, it's going to be on the tree of creativity - Steven Tyler, Globe and Mail, Febuary 1997"
"I really don't feel and age gap with our fans, but then again, we don't create one. You have to be in touch with what younger fans are going through in their lives, and I think we are. Anyone can write mature songs. It's harder to write songs about what you really are, and we're all kids at heart - Steven Tyler, Toronto Star, 1997"
"We would like to help you out, which way did you come in..?"-Steven Tyler
"You have no idea how much it costs to look this cheap"-Steven Tyler
"If you have a candle, the light won't grow any dimmer if I light yours off mine"-Steven Tyler
"Now that I'm sober, I deserve to get laid"-Steven Tyler
"Keep your nose to the grindstone - It sharpens yer boogers"-Steven Tyler
"The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those that got there first"-Steven Tyler
"I love every bone in a womans body, especially mine"-Steven Tyler
"Everything I've ever loved was immoral, illegal, or grew hair on your palms"-Steven Tyler
"And remember, the light of the tunnel may be you, and it's not the light of an incoming train"