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A BIT OF FRY AND LAURIE - HORRORMEN

Среда, 19 Августа 2009 г. 10:48 + в цитатник
Waitress: Are you ready to order?

Hugh: Did you say something?

Stephen: No.

Hugh: I thought I heard ...

Stephen: I rather think it may have been a member of the restaurant staff.

Hugh: Ah.

Waitress: Are you ready to order?

Hugh: Yes, we are ready to order, thank you. I shall have the melon, followed by the roast lamb.

Waitress Melon, lamb. And you, sir?

Stephen: I shall have soupe de poisson, I think followed by roast lamb also.

Waitress: Fish soup. Lamb.

Stephen: I'm so sorry.

Waitress: Yes?

Stephen: What did you just say?

Waitress: Fish soup, lamb.

Stephen: Mmm. Perhaps I didn't make myself absolutely clear. I would actually like the soupe de poisson.

Waitress: Soupe de poisson is fish soup.

Stephen: Oh dear.

Hugh: Oh deary me.

Stephen: Was I speaking too quickly for you?

Hugh: You seem to be a little confused.

Stephen: I asked for soupe de poisson.

Hugh: Soupe de poisson.

Waitress: Soupe de poisson is fish soup.

Stephen: No. No.

Hugh: No no no no.

Stephen: I obviously lost you. Soupe de poisson is soupe de poisson.

Hugh: D'you see?

Stephen: One thing cannot be another thing. All right? Now, as you have gone to the trouble of advertising soupe de poisson, and I have gone to the great length of ordering soupe de poisson, perhaps you would be kind enough to bring me some soupe de poisson. Thank you.

Hugh: And some mineral water.

Waitress: Mineral water.

Stephen: What a delightful restaurant.

Hugh: Absolutely delightful.

Waitress: Mineral water.

Stephen: Oh dear.

Hugh: Oh waitress?

Stephen: Waitress?

Hugh: Can you remember what it was that I asked for? I think I saw you write it down, did you write it down?

Waitress: Yes, Mineral water.

Hugh: Bravo.

Stephen: Excellent, well done.

Hugh: But you have brought a bottle of mineral water.

Stephen: Do you see? These are called bottles.

Hugh: We asked for mineral water.

Stephen: Mineral water. Just as you carefully wrote down on your small pad.

Waitress: How much mineral water?

Hugh: Some.

Stephen: Some mineral water I think we asked from you.

Hugh: Some.

Waitress: Some?

Stephen: But we can check precisely what it was we asked for. We do tape our conversations against just such a contingency.

Tape: "Get out the pair of you, you snotty wankers ..."

Stephen: No, no. That was the restaurant we were in yesterday.

Hugh: It was a delightful restaurant it was too.

Stephen: Quite delightful. Here we are.

Tape: "And some mineral water. - Mineral water."

Hugh: You see?

Stephen: Some mineral water.

Hugh: No mention of bottles.

Waitress: Shall I bring it in a jug?

Stephen: Yes, now, you see, young lady, my suggestion to you is that you should bring us mineral water in a jug when we ask for mineral water in a jug, till then, we'd be very grateful if you just brought us some mineral water. Thank you.

Hugh: All right?

Stephen: Thank you.

Hugh: What a delightful restaurant.

Stephen: Simply charming restaurant.

Hugh: Thank you.

Stephen: Delightful.

Hugh: I wonder, my dear, is there a gents' nearby. I'm rather desperate for a pee.

Waitress: Well ... there is one, but it was out of order
earlier on. I'll just check.

Stephen: Charming waitress, do you see?

Hugh: This is right. Do you understand?

Waitress enters with a small green pea, which she
places in front of Hugh.

Hugh: Um ...

Stephen: Er ...

Hugh: Yes, now, waitress, you must excuse my stupidity, but ...

Waitress takes tape recorder.

Waitress: You asked for it. Listen.

Tape: "I'm rather desperate for a pee ..."

Hugh: Ah...
Рубрики:  Fry & Laurie
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